MY CONCEPT OF LOVE

Love is a Broad Word that is used in many circles. It's various symbols of giving hugs, blowing kisses, having a dreamy eyes towards it subject and many other shows that is a virtue widely accepted by all as very important 

I grew up in a environment where the Word Love was mostly used when there is a relationship between the opposite sex. The Women l stayed with as a child never used the Word ' I love you' to express any kind of feelings to me and my father and only sister certainly never used same word on me.

But as l blossom into the teenage age, l encountered the Love Word in Romantic books like Mill & Boons and it's like and came to understand that Love is actual as feeling of estacsy because a man and. A woman which sometimes make them take irrational decision and action that deter that from common sense. Therefore l made a decision as a teenager never to fall in love with a guy until l have accomplished all dream of becoming a graduate and successful.

This decision informed my choice of sex partner because mostly l dated married men who did not demand any kind of commitment from me. And I ensured that l never had intercourse with the  t only young man that ever told me ' l love you'.and which l said ' I love you' to him.

I changed the concept of Love that l stored in my mind after faith in the name of Jesus Christ. Then l had a different concept of Love and began to see love as that virtue and feelings that make two people become trusted friends who look out for the good of each other without any fear of betrayal . As a new convert in Christ, l believed Love to include strong attraction that ensures a healthy sex life, mutual respect and trust that ensures an attitude of our Marraige must work no matter what happens, an experience of joy, fun and excitement that keeps two people in each other hearts without any kind of hurt.

Then l began to meet Christian couples who were string in their relationship for God and ministry yet their marriages seem not perfect. Also l began to hear sermons in how Marraige is serious hard work and it is not a bed of roses but a space of many challenges that were managed over a lifetime. This created a fear and paranoid about the Marraige institution. It created a mind shift that made me question "why do people get married then. My interest in funding a life soul mind reduced and l began to see Marraige as a space where two Christians come together to raise godly Christian, fulfill purpose and obey God. I developed a mechanical mindset towards Marraige and put it in the same class as having a career fulfillment, a ministry fulfillment.

One day, l was just meditating on the state of the World and why mankind has to suffer different kinds of hardship, disease, sickness all on the name of the contuinuity of the human race.and asked God the question "Why?. The Lord told me in the beginning it was not so. He said he created Man for His pleasure. Man was created to bring God delight and God made everything for the delight of man.

Then why the pain and hardship in human society. God took me back to Genesis 3 and showed me ' Then the Serpent told the Woman" The LORD said pains, hardship, sorrow, wickedness, imperfection came into the human race when men and women began to listen to what Satan the Enemy of the Human Soul told and reject as the truth what God told them. No wonder our LORD Jesus Christ said the following in John 10:10 "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

John 10:10 AMPC

God revealed to me that He did not just created mankind to give Him pleasure and receive pleasure from Him but that Jesus Christ the Saviour gave His life so that those who believed in Him will enjoy life but not in scarcity but abundance l. It shows that scarcity it various forms is not from God but the Enemy and as a result of human factors and must be rejected with full force.

The concept of enjoying Life under the Sun changed my attitude towards God and my realtuinship with Him. 

✓ This also gave me a mind shift in respect of Marraige. I came to understood that l can actually enjoy my Marraige with my spouse to it full capacity  if only l will learn to listen to the voice of God and ask for His help 

✓ But l have also come to understand if l develop a selfless mindset as k approach the Marraige table and have it at the back of my mind that l am going into Marraige to learn what please my Lover and consciously and deliberately ask the Holy Spirit to help do that throughout our lifetime, l would limit greatly factors which intend to hunt the Christian Marraige. 

✓ I understand that just as my relationship with God needs constant prayers; my Marraige too will need me to remain in my knees throughout it lifetime. I remain on my knees to deal with the Enemy's tactis and attacks, to frustrate the forces of external factors that may want to interfere negatively and to receive constant grace from God at all times 

✓ And l know that l have to acquired knowledge and know how to apply this knowledge by reading books and it's like. This way my mind is equipped with data in the institution of Marraige and how to successfully negative through it for it's lifetime.

MY PRESENT CONCEPT OF LOVE.

Love is beyond the feeling of excitement and the momentarily satisfaction derived from a good loving making sessions with your spouse.

Love is a combination of the three form of Love namely Agape, Eros and Phileos. 

AGAPE

You need Agape because it takes unconditional love to accept the flaws and shortcoming of another human being without feelings of irritation and lashing back in anger. We intend to react with anger when people do not meet up with our expectations and they create any kind of discomfort to is by their actions, attitudes and speech.

Unconditional Love is a state of mind that accepts people as they are believing that God will change them whatever attitudes that they have that irritates you. AGAPE Live is also coming to understand that whatever level of maturity and success that you have achieved it is not because of a supreme IQ but because you have made use if the time and chance that happened to you and have become a better person in a better place 

This allows you to give provision and allowance to other people who has not yet attained that better place though they may have the same resources and privileges you may have 

AGAPE love is choosing deliberately to forgive other even when they hurt you deeply though you have the power to revenge and reitate in return. Judas Iscariot hurt Jesus Christ over and over again. In an instance, he publicly rebuked the kindness that was been shown to Jesus Christ as wastage. In essence he was saying indirectly to all who were present that Jesus Christ was tolerating wrong actions yet the LORD did not retort by exposing to the rest disciples that he said so be auar he was stealing from the ministry purse. We guess that John wrote about it because John was the duscople that Christ lives specially because the Bible took note of this special affiliation to him. Moreso the other disciples always consult Johbn when. They have pertinent questions they wanted Jesus Christ to address without consulting Him directly. Obviously, John was a confidant of the LORD Jesus Christ. This is proved by the fact that Jesus Christ mother was hand over to John the beloved at His demise.

✓ AGAPE Love is you receive me as l am and believed God that l will change without nagging and bitterness.

✓ Agape love is you are willing and ready to forgive me when l err even to the point of coating pain emotionally. 

✓ Agape love is willing to go the extra mile to make me happen even if it means sacrifically give up what l love to make you happen. Jesus Christ died so that every believer should enjoyed the abundant life that the Father besties 

AGAPE love must be the foundation for Christian Marraige and not just erotic and Phileos. I may enjoy the companionship of a person but such may not have the qualities and virtues to enjoy compatibility in destiny and purpose. For example a man and woman met for the first time in a flight to Australia and spent about 18 hours chatting about everything and anything. They talked and laughed so hard that immediately they desire to see more of each. Then they had their first date in a restaurant in New York and the Chemistry of Conversation is till present. 

Then they began to discuss issues about Finance, Careers, calling and the family life. The Lady believes that a man and his wife can stay in separate cities for amoong period of time as long as it furthers their career. The man always believed that for Marraige to work, both partners must spend quality in each other space. The man believes that is past is past and should not be brought to the future. The Lady believes in spilling every bits of her past because her past is almost scared and no dirty skeleton. Yet they have this great chemistry and this companionship ensures that all will be well when they get married. We will iron issues out, they believe

 Then they get married and the man insist his wife will stay in New York with him is she really loves him. The Lady on the other hand advocates that her husband will support her dreams if he truly lives him.

Both partners have different definition of Love and unless they are matured and one can willingly and gladly give ib to the other they will have issues in their Marraige even at it's early stage. If not addressed they may become two individuals living under the same roof and even having great secs when they come together but who are not enjoying emotional Intimacy. If each partner finds another person outside their Marraige that they can enjoy emotional intimacy with, the temptation for adultery will be higher though they are both tongue speaking Christians.

But if Agape Love is the foundation of the relationship. AGAPE Love is God willing to pay any price to bring pleasure to humanity, a man must be willing to sacrificice anything to delight God 

WHAT UNFORMS MY CHOICE OF MARRAIGE PARTNER?

GOD

I have discovered that feelings can be spontaneous and flow without any active promoting from a person. But l have come to know that feelings can be activated, nurtured and controlled like any other virtue in a man's life. Our feelings are stimulated by data of I formation that has been stored in the human man over time. For example a child is born empty and every attitudes, behaviourial patterns developed is as a result of interactions with elements in his 'society' that feeds his actions. In essence that child who grow up to become a man is always attracted to ladies that are tall and out spoken because experiences I. His past has come to identify tall ladies and out spoken ladies with pleasures. Events has taken place in his childhood and teenage years which associate tall and beautiful ladies with high feelings .

Personal experience. My eyes are always lightened and my emotions stirred whenever l see a child especially doing an adorable actions. No matter whose child it is ,.my feelings are stirred up spontaneously. Why? Because in the past, l had come to believe that children does not judge my every actions rather all they want from me is to give them ample actions and gifts and they will be excited anytime they see it 

I have come to believe that for adults , l will have to decipher their expectatuons of me and adapt to this expectations to please. While children are starught forward for me to understand without any complexity, l have come to associate adults with complexity. Therefore l have an unconscious shield in my mind and caution in my relating to adults. I will warm up to them as they invite in and will quickly retreat if l sense any attitude of disapproval. 

It shows my attraction to children is informed by certain experience from my past which l have not taken and mediation to explore and correct ub my mind. I need a mind shift to deal with relationship with adults at all level 

Let's go back to our submission that Agape Love should be the foundation of all human realtuinship. AGAPE love is defined in this context as the desire to selfless bring joy and happiness to another person on their terms as long as it is not harmful and will not bring you in harm way.

AGAPE Love for the Christian is that God loved me and gave Himself for me, therefore l am seeking for a man and woman who l can demonstrate my love for God by living them in return. The catch is this?. God is a Loving Father and if we really seek to please Him, He will ensure you are pleased in the process.

✓ God knows every man inside and out. He knows our server desires, fears, aspiration and thought patterns. He knows His purpose and plans and know our abilities and capacities to achieve this plan. He knows also our dreams and visions though we may not be able to share this with others. What God does is to take all this factor into considerations as He leads you to potential partners that can supply the needed virtue you desire. God does not stop there, He ensures that you are willing to want to go with this person. He created feelings and can supply the necessary feelings needed at any time.

✓ The feelings that ensures in Phileos and Eros relationship always depend on favourable factors to flourish. It means the feelings per time in these kind of love can either increase or decrease. You will hear a man tell his wife " My love for you increases as we grow older together". The man is right if his confession of love is not just kio service.  The man has come to associate his wife with many experiences of happiness. Their times together has brought laughter, rest, joy , happiness and fulfillment to him so that he now associate her presence in his life with positive feelings. Therefore anytime he sees his wife either picture or in person, his heart warms up , his eyes are filled with laughter and his hands desire to explore her body 

This is why men find it easier to fall in love with their kind secretary and colleagues. They are always in each other space and have conversation either personal or official that brings a positive feelings to him. Therefore over time, the positive feelings graows and expand sto a point whereby his thoughts I'd full of the person in question an dit is when these feelings overflows he concluded that he cannot be happy or live his life without this particular person. At this point, the man concludes that he has fallen in love 

This was the case of Beershab ( the daughter of Saul) David had come to associate the attitude and behaviour of Jonathan and Beersheba with a positive feelings borne out of their kindness to him though it meant the disfavour of their Father; King Saul. Beersheba defied her father instructions and hidden David to save his life. Jonathan went overboard in saving David's life that his father placed a curse on him that Jonathan will never ascend the throne and become King as long as the son of Jesse was alive. And the curse was fulfilled because Jonathan died and David became King 

David had three wives yet he still went ahead to withdraw Beersheba from the man she was married. At this point Beersheba was angry that she was taken from her husband but David did not cared because in his heart he had associated what he felt in the past as true love with Beersheba.and he was.swarching for that kind of love with all the woman he married and still wanted it by all means so he back to the woman who gave him his first definition of true Love.

We always gratuvates towards what we gives us the greatest feelings and associate to experience as our source of true happiness. A girl will become gluttous because her happiness moments are associated with food. She had had few experiences  past which can match the high feelings she gets when she is eating. A man will become a sex addicts because his happiness moment are associated with when he enjoys sex with a woman. 

Love is a Broad Word that is used in many circles. It's various symbols of giving hugs, blowing kisses, having a dreamy eyes towards it subject and many other shows that is a virtue widely accepted by all as very important 

I grew up in a environment where the Word Love was mostly used when there is a relationship between the opposite sex. The Women l stayed with as a child never used the Word ' I love you' to express any kind of feelings to me and my father and only sister certainly never used same word on me.

But as l blossom into the teenage age, l encountered the Love Word in Romantic books like Mill & Boons and it's like and came to understand that Love is actual as feeling of estacsy because a man and. A woman which sometimes make them take irrational decision and action that deter that from common sense. Therefore l made a decision as a teenager never to fall in love with a guy until l have accomplished all dream of becoming a graduate and successful.

This decision informed my choice of sex partner because mostly l dated married men who did not demand any kind of commitment from me. And I ensured that l never had intercourse with the  t only young man that ever told me ' l love you'.and which l said ' I love you' to him.

I changed the concept of Love that l stored in my mind after faith in the name of Jesus Christ. Then l had a different concept of Love and began to see love as that virtue and feelings that make two people become trusted friends who look out for the good of each other without any fear of betrayal . As a new convert in Christ, l believed Love to include strong attraction that ensures a healthy sex life, mutual respect and trust that ensures an attitude of our Marraige must work no matter what happens, an experience of joy, fun and excitement that keeps two people in each other hearts without any kind of hurt.

Then l began to meet Christian couples who were string in their relationship for God and ministry yet their marriages seem not perfect. Also l began to hear sermons in how Marraige is serious hard work and it is not a bed of roses but a space of many challenges that were managed over a lifetime. This created a fear and paranoid about the Marraige institution. It created a mind shift that made me question "why do people get married then. My interest in funding a life soul mind reduced and l began to see Marraige as a space where two Christians come together to raise godly Christian, fulfill purpose and obey God. I developed a mechanical mindset towards Marraige and put it in the same class as having a career fulfillment, a ministry fulfillment.

One day, l was just meditating on the state of the World and why mankind has to suffer different kinds of hardship, disease, sickness all on the name of the contuinuity of the human race.and asked God the question "Why?. The Lord told me in the beginning it was not so. He said he created Man for His pleasure. Man was created to bring God delight and God made everything for the delight of man.

Then why the pain and hardship in human society. God took me back to Genesis 3 and showed me ' Then the Serpent told the Woman" The LORD said pains, hardship, sorrow, wickedness, imperfection came into the human race when men and women began to listen to what Satan the Enemy of the Human Soul told and reject as the truth what God told them. No wonder our LORD Jesus Christ said the following in John 10:10 "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

John 10:10 AMPC

God revealed to me that He did not just created mankind to give Him pleasure and receive pleasure from Him but that Jesus Christ the Saviour gave His life so that those who believed in Him will enjoy life but not in scarcity but abundance l. It shows that scarcity it various forms is not from God but the Enemy and as a result of human factors and must be rejected with full force.

The concept of enjoying Life under the Sun changed my attitude towards God and my realtuinship with Him. 

✓ This also gave me a mind shift in respect of Marraige. I came to understood that l can actually enjoy my Marraige with my spouse to it full capacity  if only l will learn to listen to the voice of God and ask for His help 

✓ But l have also come to understand if l develop a selfless mindset as k approach the Marraige table and have it at the back of my mind that l am going into Marraige to learn what please my Lover and consciously and deliberately ask the Holy Spirit to help do that throughout our lifetime, l would limit greatly factors which intend to hunt the Christian Marraige. 

✓ I understand that just as my relationship with God needs constant prayers; my Marraige too will need me to remain in my knees throughout it lifetime. I remain on my knees to deal with the Enemy's tactis and attacks, to frustrate the forces of external factors that may want to interfere negatively and to receive constant grace from God at all times 

✓ And l know that l have to acquired knowledge and know how to apply this knowledge by reading books and it's like. This way my mind is equipped with data in the institution of Marraige and how to successfully negative through it for it's lifetime.

MY PRESENT CONCEPT OF LOVE.

Love is beyond the feeling of excitement and the momentarily satisfaction derived from a good loving making sessions with your spouse.

Love is a combination of the three form of Love namely Agape, Eros and Phileos. 

AGAPE

You need Agape because it takes unconditional love to accept the flaws and shortcoming of another human being without feelings of irritation and lashing back in anger. We intend to react with anger when people do not meet up with our expectations and they create any kind of discomfort to is by their actions, attitudes and speech.

Unconditional Love is a state of mind that accepts people as they are believing that God will change them whatever attitudes that they have that irritates you. AGAPE Live is also coming to understand that whatever level of maturity and success that you have achieved it is not because of a supreme IQ but because you have made use if the time and chance that happened to you and have become a better person in a better place 

This allows you to give provision and allowance to other people who has not yet attained that better place though they may have the same resources and privileges you may have 

AGAPE love is choosing deliberately to forgive other even when they hurt you deeply though you have the power to revenge and reitate in return. Judas Iscariot hurt Jesus Christ over and over again. In an instance, he publicly rebuked the kindness that was been shown to Jesus Christ as wastage. In essence he was saying indirectly to all who were present that Jesus Christ was tolerating wrong actions yet the LORD did not retort by exposing to the rest disciples that he said so be auar he was stealing from the ministry purse. We guess that John wrote about it because John was the duscople that Christ lives specially because the Bible took note of this special affiliation to him. Moreso the other disciples always consult Johbn when. They have pertinent questions they wanted Jesus Christ to address without consulting Him directly. Obviously, John was a confidant of the LORD Jesus Christ. This is proved by the fact that Jesus Christ mother was hand over to John the beloved at His demise.

✓ AGAPE Love is you receive me as l am and believed God that l will change without nagging and bitterness.

✓ Agape love is you are willing and ready to forgive me when l err even to the point of coating pain emotionally. 

✓ Agape love is willing to go the extra mile to make me happen even if it means sacrifically give up what l love to make you happen. Jesus Christ died so that every believer should enjoyed the abundant life that the Father besties 

AGAPE love must be the foundation for Christian Marraige and not just erotic and Phileos. I may enjoy the companionship of a person but such may not have the qualities and virtues to enjoy compatibility in destiny and purpose. For example a man and woman met for the first time in a flight to Australia and spent about 18 hours chatting about everything and anything. They talked and laughed so hard that immediately they desire to see more of each. Then they had their first date in a restaurant in New York and the Chemistry of Conversation is till present. 

Then they began to discuss issues about Finance, Careers, calling and the family life. The Lady believes that a man and his wife can stay in separate cities for amoong period of time as long as it furthers their career. The man always believed that for Marraige to work, both partners must spend quality in each other space. The man believes that is past is past and should not be brought to the future. The Lady believes in spilling every bits of her past because her past is almost scared and no dirty skeleton. Yet they have this great chemistry and this companionship ensures that all will be well when they get married. We will iron issues out, they believe

 Then they get married and the man insist his wife will stay in New York with him is she really loves him. The Lady on the other hand advocates that her husband will support her dreams if he truly lives him.

Both partners have different definition of Love and unless they are matured and one can willingly and gladly give ib to the other they will have issues in their Marraige even at it's early stage. If not addressed they may become two individuals living under the same roof and even having great secs when they come together but who are not enjoying emotional Intimacy. If each partner finds another person outside their Marraige that they can enjoy emotional intimacy with, the temptation for adultery will be higher though they are both tongue speaking Christians.

But if Agape Love is the foundation of the relationship. AGAPE Love is God willing to pay any price to bring pleasure to humanity, a man must be willing to sacrificice anything to delight God 

WHAT UNFORMS MY CHOICE OF MARRAIGE PARTNER?

GOD

I have discovered that feelings can be spontaneous and flow without any active promoting from a person. But l have come to know that feelings can be activated, nurtured and controlled like any other virtue in a man's life. Our feelings are stimulated by data of I formation that has been stored in the human man over time. For example a child is born empty and every attitudes, behaviourial patterns developed is as a result of interactions with elements in his 'society' that feeds his actions. In essence that child who grow up to become a man is always attracted to ladies that are tall and out spoken because experiences I. His past has come to identify tall ladies and out spoken ladies with pleasures. Events has taken place in his childhood and teenage years which associate tall and beautiful ladies with high feelings .

Personal experience. My eyes are always lightened and my emotions stirred whenever l see a child especially doing an adorable actions. No matter whose child it is ,.my feelings are stirred up spontaneously. Why? Because in the past, l had come to believe that children does not judge my every actions rather all they want from me is to give them ample actions and gifts and they will be excited anytime they see it 

I have come to believe that for adults , l will have to decipher their expectatuons of me and adapt to this expectations to please. While children are starught forward for me to understand without any complexity, l have come to associate adults with complexity. Therefore l have an unconscious shield in my mind and caution in my relating to adults. I will warm up to them as they invite in and will quickly retreat if l sense any attitude of disapproval. 

It shows my attraction to children is informed by certain experience from my past which l have not taken and mediation to explore and correct ub my mind. I need a mind shift to deal with relationship with adults at all level 

Let's go back to our submission that Agape Love should be the foundation of all human realtuinship. AGAPE love is defined in this context as the desire to selfless bring joy and happiness to another person on their terms as long as it is not harmful and will not bring you in harm way.

AGAPE Love for the Christian is that God loved me and gave Himself for me, therefore l am seeking for a man and woman who l can demonstrate my love for God by living them in return. The catch is this?. God is a Loving Father and if we really seek to please Him, He will ensure you are pleased in the process.

✓ God knows every man inside and out. He knows our server desires, fears, aspiration and thought patterns. He knows His purpose and plans and know our abilities and capacities to achieve this plan. He knows also our dreams and visions though we may not be able to share this with others. What God does is to take all this factor into considerations as He leads you to potential partners that can supply the needed virtue you desire. God does not stop there, He ensures that you are willing to want to go with this person. He created feelings and can supply the necessary feelings needed at any time.

✓ The feelings that ensures in Phileos and Eros relationship always depend on favourable factors to flourish. It means the feelings per time in these kind of love can either increase or decrease. You will hear a man tell his wife " My love for you increases as we grow older together". The man is right if his confession of love is not just kio service.  The man has come to associate his wife with many experiences of happiness. Their times together has brought laughter, rest, joy , happiness and fulfillment to him so that he now associate her presence in his life with positive feelings. Therefore anytime he sees his wife either picture or in person, his heart warms up , his eyes are filled with laughter and his hands desire to explore her body 

This is why men find it easier to fall in love with their kind secretary and colleagues. They are always in each other space and have conversation either personal or official that brings a positive feelings to him. Therefore over time, the positive feelings graows and expand sto a point whereby his thoughts I'd full of the person in question an dit is when these feelings overflows he concluded that he cannot be happy or live his life without this particular person. At this point, the man concludes that he has fallen in love 

This was the case of Beershab ( the daughter of Saul) David had come to associate the attitude and behaviour of Jonathan and Beersheba with a positive feelings borne out of their kindness to him though it meant the disfavour of their Father; King Saul. Beersheba defied her father instructions and hidden David to save his life. Jonathan went overboard in saving David's life that his father placed a curse on him that Jonathan will never ascend the throne and become King as long as the son of Jesse was alive. And the curse was fulfilled because Jonathan died and David became King 

David had three wives yet he still went ahead to withdraw Beersheba from the man she was married. At this point Beersheba was angry that she was taken from her husband but David did not cared because in his heart he had associated what he felt in the past as true love with Beersheba.and he was.swarching for that kind of love with all the woman he married and still wanted it by all means so he back to the woman who gave him his first definition of true Love.

We always gratuvates towards what we gives us the greatest feelings and associate to experience as our source of true happiness. A girl will become gluttous because her happiness moments are associated with food. She had had few experiences  past which can match the high feelings she gets when she is eating. A man will become a sex addicts because his happiness moment are associated with when he enjoys sex with a woman. 

Love is a Broad Word that is used in many circles. It's various symbols of giving hugs, blowing kisses, having a dreamy eyes towards it subject and many other shows that is a virtue widely accepted by all as very important 

I grew up in a environment where the Word Love was mostly used when there is a relationship between the opposite sex. The Women l stayed with as a child never used the Word ' I love you' to express any kind of feelings to me and my father and only sister certainly never used same word on me.

But as l blossom into the teenage age, l encountered the Love Word in Romantic books like Mill & Boons and it's like and came to understand that Love is actual as feeling of estacsy because a man and. A woman which sometimes make them take irrational decision and action that deter that from common sense. Therefore l made a decision as a teenager never to fall in love with a guy until l have accomplished all dream of becoming a graduate and successful.

This decision informed my choice of sex partner because mostly l dated married men who did not demand any kind of commitment from me. And I ensured that l never had intercourse with the  t only young man that ever told me ' l love you'.and which l said ' I love you' to him.

I changed the concept of Love that l stored in my mind after faith in the name of Jesus Christ. Then l had a different concept of Love and began to see love as that virtue and feelings that make two people become trusted friends who look out for the good of each other without any fear of betrayal . As a new convert in Christ, l believed Love to include strong attraction that ensures a healthy sex life, mutual respect and trust that ensures an attitude of our Marraige must work no matter what happens, an experience of joy, fun and excitement that keeps two people in each other hearts without any kind of hurt.

Then l began to meet Christian couples who were string in their relationship for God and ministry yet their marriages seem not perfect. Also l began to hear sermons in how Marraige is serious hard work and it is not a bed of roses but a space of many challenges that were managed over a lifetime. This created a fear and paranoid about the Marraige institution. It created a mind shift that made me question "why do people get married then. My interest in funding a life soul mind reduced and l began to see Marraige as a space where two Christians come together to raise godly Christian, fulfill purpose and obey God. I developed a mechanical mindset towards Marraige and put it in the same class as having a career fulfillment, a ministry fulfillment.

One day, l was just meditating on the state of the World and why mankind has to suffer different kinds of hardship, disease, sickness all on the name of the contuinuity of the human race.and asked God the question "Why?. The Lord told me in the beginning it was not so. He said he created Man for His pleasure. Man was created to bring God delight and God made everything for the delight of man.

Then why the pain and hardship in human society. God took me back to Genesis 3 and showed me ' Then the Serpent told the Woman" The LORD said pains, hardship, sorrow, wickedness, imperfection came into the human race when men and women began to listen to what Satan the Enemy of the Human Soul told and reject as the truth what God told them. No wonder our LORD Jesus Christ said the following in John 10:10 "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

John 10:10 AMPC

God revealed to me that He did not just created mankind to give Him pleasure and receive pleasure from Him but that Jesus Christ the Saviour gave His life so that those who believed in Him will enjoy life but not in scarcity but abundance l. It shows that scarcity it various forms is not from God but the Enemy and as a result of human factors and must be rejected with full force.

The concept of enjoying Life under the Sun changed my attitude towards God and my realtuinship with Him. 

✓ This also gave me a mind shift in respect of Marraige. I came to understood that l can actually enjoy my Marraige with my spouse to it full capacity  if only l will learn to listen to the voice of God and ask for His help 

✓ But l have also come to understand if l develop a selfless mindset as k approach the Marraige table and have it at the back of my mind that l am going into Marraige to learn what please my Lover and consciously and deliberately ask the Holy Spirit to help do that throughout our lifetime, l would limit greatly factors which intend to hunt the Christian Marraige. 

✓ I understand that just as my relationship with God needs constant prayers; my Marraige too will need me to remain in my knees throughout it lifetime. I remain on my knees to deal with the Enemy's tactis and attacks, to frustrate the forces of external factors that may want to interfere negatively and to receive constant grace from God at all times 

✓ And l know that l have to acquired knowledge and know how to apply this knowledge by reading books and it's like. This way my mind is equipped with data in the institution of Marraige and how to successfully negative through it for it's lifetime.

MY PRESENT CONCEPT OF LOVE.

Love is beyond the feeling of excitement and the momentarily satisfaction derived from a good loving making sessions with your spouse.

Love is a combination of the three form of Love namely Agape, Eros and Phileos. 

AGAPE

You need Agape because it takes unconditional love to accept the flaws and shortcoming of another human being without feelings of irritation and lashing back in anger. We intend to react with anger when people do not meet up with our expectations and they create any kind of discomfort to is by their actions, attitudes and speech.

Unconditional Love is a state of mind that accepts people as they are believing that God will change them whatever attitudes that they have that irritates you. AGAPE Live is also coming to understand that whatever level of maturity and success that you have achieved it is not because of a supreme IQ but because you have made use if the time and chance that happened to you and have become a better person in a better place 

This allows you to give provision and allowance to other people who has not yet attained that better place though they may have the same resources and privileges you may have 

AGAPE love is choosing deliberately to forgive other even when they hurt you deeply though you have the power to revenge and reitate in return. Judas Iscariot hurt Jesus Christ over and over again. In an instance, he publicly rebuked the kindness that was been shown to Jesus Christ as wastage. In essence he was saying indirectly to all who were present that Jesus Christ was tolerating wrong actions yet the LORD did not retort by exposing to the rest disciples that he said so be auar he was stealing from the ministry purse. We guess that John wrote about it because John was the duscople that Christ lives specially because the Bible took note of this special affiliation to him. Moreso the other disciples always consult Johbn when. They have pertinent questions they wanted Jesus Christ to address without consulting Him directly. Obviously, John was a confidant of the LORD Jesus Christ. This is proved by the fact that Jesus Christ mother was hand over to John the beloved at His demise.

✓ AGAPE Love is you receive me as l am and believed God that l will change without nagging and bitterness.

✓ Agape love is you are willing and ready to forgive me when l err even to the point of coating pain emotionally. 

✓ Agape love is willing to go the extra mile to make me happen even if it means sacrifically give up what l love to make you happen. Jesus Christ died so that every believer should enjoyed the abundant life that the Father besties 

AGAPE love must be the foundation for Christian Marraige and not just erotic and Phileos. I may enjoy the companionship of a person but such may not have the qualities and virtues to enjoy compatibility in destiny and purpose. For example a man and woman met for the first time in a flight to Australia and spent about 18 hours chatting about everything and anything. They talked and laughed so hard that immediately they desire to see more of each. Then they had their first date in a restaurant in New York and the Chemistry of Conversation is till present. 

Then they began to discuss issues about Finance, Careers, calling and the family life. The Lady believes that a man and his wife can stay in separate cities for amoong period of time as long as it furthers their career. The man always believed that for Marraige to work, both partners must spend quality in each other space. The man believes that is past is past and should not be brought to the future. The Lady believes in spilling every bits of her past because her past is almost scared and no dirty skeleton. Yet they have this great chemistry and this companionship ensures that all will be well when they get married. We will iron issues out, they believe

 Then they get married and the man insist his wife will stay in New York with him is she really loves him. The Lady on the other hand advocates that her husband will support her dreams if he truly lives him.

Both partners have different definition of Love and unless they are matured and one can willingly and gladly give ib to the other they will have issues in their Marraige even at it's early stage. If not addressed they may become two individuals living under the same roof and even having great secs when they come together but who are not enjoying emotional Intimacy. If each partner finds another person outside their Marraige that they can enjoy emotional intimacy with, the temptation for adultery will be higher though they are both tongue speaking Christians.

But if Agape Love is the foundation of the relationship. AGAPE Love is God willing to pay any price to bring pleasure to humanity, a man must be willing to sacrificice anything to delight God 

WHAT UNFORMS MY CHOICE OF MARRAIGE PARTNER?

GOD

I have discovered that feelings can be spontaneous and flow without any active promoting from a person. But l have come to know that feelings can be activated, nurtured and controlled like any other virtue in a man's life. Our feelings are stimulated by data of I formation that has been stored in the human man over time. For example a child is born empty and every attitudes, behaviourial patterns developed is as a result of interactions with elements in his 'society' that feeds his actions. In essence that child who grow up to become a man is always attracted to ladies that are tall and out spoken because experiences I. His past has come to identify tall ladies and out spoken ladies with pleasures. Events has taken place in his childhood and teenage years which associate tall and beautiful ladies with high feelings .

Personal experience. My eyes are always lightened and my emotions stirred whenever l see a child especially doing an adorable actions. No matter whose child it is ,.my feelings are stirred up spontaneously. Why? Because in the past, l had come to believe that children does not judge my every actions rather all they want from me is to give them ample actions and gifts and they will be excited anytime they see it 

I have come to believe that for adults , l will have to decipher their expectatuons of me and adapt to this expectations to please. While children are starught forward for me to understand without any complexity, l have come to associate adults with complexity. Therefore l have an unconscious shield in my mind and caution in my relating to adults. I will warm up to them as they invite in and will quickly retreat if l sense any attitude of disapproval. 

It shows my attraction to children is informed by certain experience from my past which l have not taken and mediation to explore and correct ub my mind. I need a mind shift to deal with relationship with adults at all level 

Let's go back to our submission that Agape Love should be the foundation of all human realtuinship. AGAPE love is defined in this context as the desire to selfless bring joy and happiness to another person on their terms as long as it is not harmful and will not bring you in harm way.

AGAPE Love for the Christian is that God loved me and gave Himself for me, therefore l am seeking for a man and woman who l can demonstrate my love for God by living them in return. The catch is this?. God is a Loving Father and if we really seek to please Him, He will ensure you are pleased in the process.

✓ God knows every man inside and out. He knows our server desires, fears, aspiration and thought patterns. He knows His purpose and plans and know our abilities and capacities to achieve this plan. He knows also our dreams and visions though we may not be able to share this with others. What God does is to take all this factor into considerations as He leads you to potential partners that can supply the needed virtue you desire. God does not stop there, He ensures that you are willing to want to go with this person. He created feelings and can supply the necessary feelings needed at any time.

✓ The feelings that ensures in Phileos and Eros relationship always depend on favourable factors to flourish. It means the feelings per time in these kind of love can either increase or decrease. You will hear a man tell his wife " My love for you increases as we grow older together". The man is right if his confession of love is not just kio service.  The man has come to associate his wife with many experiences of happiness. Their times together has brought laughter, rest, joy , happiness and fulfillment to him so that he now associate her presence in his life with positive feelings. Therefore anytime he sees his wife either picture or in person, his heart warms up , his eyes are filled with laughter and his hands desire to explore her body 

This is why men find it easier to fall in love with their kind secretary and colleagues. They are always in each other space and have conversation either personal or official that brings a positive feelings to him. Therefore over time, the positive feelings graows and expand sto a point whereby his thoughts I'd full of the person in question an dit is when these feelings overflows he concluded that he cannot be happy or live his life without this particular person. At this point, the man concludes that he has fallen in love 

This was the case of Beershab ( the daughter of Saul) David had come to associate the attitude and behaviour of Jonathan and Beersheba with a positive feelings borne out of their kindness to him though it meant the disfavour of their Father; King Saul. Beersheba defied her father instructions and hidden David to save his life. Jonathan went overboard in saving David's life that his father placed a curse on him that Jonathan will never ascend the throne and become King as long as the son of Jesse was alive. And the curse was fulfilled because Jonathan died and David became King 

David had three wives yet he still went ahead to withdraw Beersheba from the man she was married. At this point Beersheba was angry that she was taken from her husband but David did not cared because in his heart he had associated what he felt in the past as true love with Beersheba.and he was.swarching for that kind of love with all the woman he married and still wanted it by all means so he back to the woman who gave him his first definition of true Love.

We always gratuvates towards what we gives us the greatest feelings and associate to experience as our source of true happiness. A girl will become gluttous because her happiness moments are associated with food. She had had few experiences  past which can match the high feelings she gets when she is eating. A man will become a sex addicts because his happiness moment are associated with when he enjoys sex with a woman. 

Therefore Agape love has God as it's center if focus; It is an unconditional giving Love whereby you do what you do for your partner not because they deserve it but because you desire to please God by obeying His Word and therefore you do what will make your partner happy .

But in doing this you are obeying a universal principle which always give dividends to it's adherents. The Golden rule says do to others as you want them to do to you. In obeying this principle of loving unconditional; you must do it in faith believing strongly that as you love unconditional you also harvest and receive unconditional love. 

Marraige relationship is also by faith. If you believe that it is a realtuinship of a lot of challenges and ups and down, be ready for you will get plenty of it. But if you put your faith in the promises of God and believe that by the help of the Holy Spirit you will enjoy the abundance of Christ in your Marraige, surely by His grace that is what you will have. You did not become kind to you spouse because you want her to become kind to you. Rather you become kind to your spouse because the love of God was pour abundantly in your heart and God says share the same love with others. But you know that God word says in Galatians 6 that whatever a man sows that shall he reap so you believe God for an harvest of kindness.

PHILEOS

My concept on friendship is purely kindness and trust. Friendship is not overshadowing each other space and time. But friendship is whenever we come together we share our hearts with fear of been judged and looked down upon and we know without any doublts that the information shred will not be uses to rwicupe or harm us  Judas knew about the whereabout of our LORD Jesus Christ though he was supposed to be a friend, he sold Christ whereabout to the Enemy.

Phillies has to do with two souls become on flesh; each person looking out for the good of the other in all matters. It has to do with a sharing of hearts and the deepest thoughts. Just as you trust that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake you no matter what you do ( though you will not deliberately harm him by harming his children.

WHEN YOU HURT A CHILD OF GOD, YOU HAVE HARMED JESUS CHRIST BECAUAE THE CHILD OF GOD IS A.PART OF THE BODY OF CHRIST.

When you are kind to a Child of God, you are kind to Jesus Christ because the child of God is apart of the Body of Christ 

 When you give to a child of God, you give to Christ because they are a a member of His body.

If you are a friend of Jesus Christ, every member of the body of Christ as to be treated as a friend because they are a member of the body of Christ. You don't treat a believe based on what they had done to you , rather you treated based on what Jesus Christ has done to you.