WEDDING DAY AFTERMATH

InSpired

THE WEDDING DAY AFTERMATH..

One recurring thought that always crosses my mind after the Groom and Bride say "l do" is  'Lord Jesus,  will they be able to keep the excitement, friendship and sweetness flavour in their homes and marriage after the Honeymoon stage.

A music artist sang "diamonds are forever". I believe  the marriage institution needs an award winning song sang by every intending couples with the words " "our friendship and love must shine forever by our conscious actions and attitudes"

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION

The pertinent question at this point  is " is it possible to maintain the glow seen on the Wedding Day throughout the life line of the marriage?

By the word ' flow', l imply the excitment, the spontaneous touching by the  couple if they are truly into each other.

TWO SIDED ANSWER

My answer is YES and at the same time NO. I will cite the examples of celebrities and a former president to buttress my submission to this question.

On the Red carpet for films premiere; married, engaged celebrities want to show their fans and audiences that they are still much more in love and they show lot of 'PDF' in public.

I observed a former  President of the United State of America, who is fond of showing  a lot of 'PDF' in public. I believe their love is genuine because the loving facial expressions is not coerced after many years of marriage. 

They act and looked as if they are still strongly drew and attracted to each other  after many years of marriage. ( excerpt both are very good actors, their continual glow in marriage looks like the real thing)

I know some culture and religion does not encourage the show of 'PDF' in public and some persons are brought up with the notion that you don't wear your feelings on your sleeves in public 

But my initial question is " can couples maintain attractions to each other after many years of marriage and can they maintain the glowing atmosphere in their marriages after honeymoon.

LOVE IS BEYOND SWEET FEELINGS

Firstly, l want to establish the fact that loving someone is not just ingrained in the public and private display of emotions.

Loving a man or woman truly starts from a decision you made.  A lot of ladies and guys don't realise that they are in control of who and when they fall in love or get attracted to the opposite sex. 

You must know that  overtime, you input certain information about who you like, you don't like, what you like and  you don't like about an individual or potential marriage partner into your mind.

It is this pre-programmed data of information that influences or informs your decision or seemingly ' spontaneous intense feelings about certain individuals- either to love them or dislike them. 

This data of information may be influenced by what your parents told you, what you picked up from your parents and relatives marriage relationships.

it may be influenced by what you heard, seen on social media, it may be influenced by your personal experiences as you interact with others.

 it may even be influenced by manipulations of demons and it may be as a result of what the Holy Spirit told you about who to marry or who is your partner in destiny.

Falling in love is not an uncontrollable impulse that happens to you randomly. 

It happens as influenced by these stored data in your mind and heart. So it is this information that make it seem you fall in love out of your control.

Even a man who falls in love with  a prostitute, somewhere along the line had allowed the data of information to sift into his  heart and mind that it will be surely 'Cool' to marry  'a Runs lady' either out of pity or for the notion of sexual expertise of run girls. ( Am speaking from purely factual base and not  in any way advocating for a believer in Christ to marry an unrepentant 'Runs'. lady.)

The same way, you  programmed your heart to fall for the partner of your choice, you can also feed your mind and heart with information that allows you to keep the glow in your marruage and home.

Sincerely, l believe  any art can be learned and practised. We were born empty, it shows that every attitude, knowledge and skill you have was learnt and acquired 

You just need  to learn what it takes to build that home that is filled with the joy of the Spirit. 

Like l said,  Love is a decision and not just good feelings that change based on circumstances and is not totally reliable for continually marital bliss. 

If you only touch your spouse, compliment them, speak 'softly' to them when you have high and intense feelings of love" then you are in for a long ride that is easily manipulated by the flesh and the Enemy.  

Happiness can be incited  by various elements like a new car, promotion in the office, increased Church  attendance  etc but happiness by a decision made by its recipient irrespective of the present circumstances is best and more reliable.

 Some christians believe that God leads you to marriage partner, others believe - he that finds a wife. Whatever method adopted, you either made a decision to agree with the Holy Spirit counsel or just follow the leading of your heart .

Likewise you must make a decision to store in your spirit, subconscious and conscious mind, data that will allow you  to always display  loving actions and reactions to your spouse at all times. 

The Bible rightly says " As a man thinks so he is"

Touching your spouse and validating them by loving words are actions you can program into your subconscious and they gush out at all times needed .

Every man has an idea of what they like and what they don't like, likewise your spouse his/her likes and dislikes.

Loving someone necessitates that we find out what makes them happy and feel appreciated. 

We are individualistic just as our  taste and likes are different ; one man may feel truly appreciated when his spouse compliment every  kind gestures, while another likes to be appreciated when he pays the bill. 

There are different love languages, you just need to learn what tickles your lover.

Adaptation to the different love languages may be   as a result of upbringing

Some parents show appreciation for the good behaviour by their children by praising them verbally, others  reward good behaviour with  tangible gifts. 

Such parents are consciously or unconsciously formatting the love gesture the child would come to enjoy in their adult years 

So you must find out what sparks excitment in your marriage partner and deliberately enjoy doing it for them 

You don't only touch your spouse when you feel like or when it's time for sex. Touching is one inexpensive way to show your partner, am still attracted to you.

You as a man, you can train your eyes and gaze to follow your wife's movement in the house, you can deliberately catch her gaze and hold it for a while.. It's your way of saying" Babe, l still love and am into you"

I know we are busy with our careers, ministries and trying to make the 'big bucks' but out of this busyness, you can create time to watch your favourite TV shows, chat online for hours, watch football matches etc. 

You can equally  put in extra efforts in  your marriage and home by putting it on the top alert list. 

A top Executive said "  I ensure at all times that my family calls and chats are treated as top priority and always l return to a warm welcome  at home"  

To reap a truly happy home, you must sow seeds of love. Many Christian couples operate as  flat mates in their homes and not as lovers as God intended.

Listen, the  physical, emotional environment is already  filled with enough pain, but  Jesus came that we should have abundant life and that the joy of the Holy Ghost should fill our hearts 

So while we sacrificially spread the Gospel of Christ, fight insurgents in our nation ,fulfill divine mandate, let ensure that our homes are  a place of  comfort, joy, happiness. 

Your home should be where you go and you are happy, elated, excited that you are going home- for you know every burden would be shared by someone who is truly Interested in your happiness and understands you.

After a very busy day for me and l drive through the gate leading to my apartment , a kind of serenity comes over me,  l feel a gentle but powerful vibes and my soul resounds "AM HOME"

. That's what the Creator intends when He said " The two shall become one", two shall receive better reward for their labour and one will chase a thousand and two, their tens of thousands.

A. L. Hephzibah