ADVICE FOR SINGLES

InSpired

ADVICE FOR SINGLES

HOW TO KNOW A PERSON IS NOT PASSIONATE ABOUT YOU

You meet people daily and you either like the or you don't like them. A person who comes into your life and immediately goes ahead to try to change everything about you is drawn to you for some reason but does not like your person.

He/She has a template or picture of the kind of person they will love as a spouse and you do not fit the narrative. Therefore  such go to a great length to work on you so that you fit that picture of the perfect mate in their minds.

Love is about changing to accommodate your Lover. When you truly like someone, your continually desire would be to do all within your power to please them.

Sincerely, no area of a believer's life must not be under the leading of the Holy Spirit. Our Heavenly Father said to Prophet Samuel "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16.

The secrets in a man's heart is so deep that it takes only the help of God to unveil. The area of marraige is also dynamic in the sense that man ( in general) especially the woman specie is designed by society and the environment in such a way that you can unconsciously and consciously deliberately put up your best behaviours when you have a course to impress the other party.

Your 'I' will be properly fitted and your 'T' crossed but pressure and relaxation can bring out the best or worse of a man's behaviour. And you will agree with me that after you day 'I Do', the chase by both parties stop and normalcy mode is activated. It is the partners liking for each other that continually rekindle the fire after the excitement of the wedding day is gone.

God can see what you cannot see, therefore taking Him along as you make the Marraige decision of "whom to narry' is important. 

Will God chose for you, l don't think so, even if you said you heard an angel say to you " This is bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh"; you will still have to make the choice and make the decision to open your heart to this person. If not, the visions and dreams you will have about them will tell you " No, this is not God's Will for you"

Alright, whether you make the choice of whom to marry by yourself or you believe that God will lead you to the right person, is this a guarantee that you will have a blissful, happy and fruitful marraige.

Pardon me for this candid answer; but my answer is a capital "NO". You don't become successful in life because you confess Jesus.Christ as LORD and Saviour. Success in the Kingdom is guarantee when you discover the template and principles for Kingdom success.

Moses anointed and lay uand on Joshua to conti ue in his stead. The Bible noted that a Spirit of wisdom rested on Joshua as Moses.did this yet God told Joshua " if you want to be success in your calling, you must do this':

"Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.'  Joshua 1;7-8

We can see the order here, God called Joshua, commissioned him and anointed him for a successful ministry yet he had to obey (carefully) a set of Laws and instruction to become truly successful.

We took this time to explain the above to allow the reader see why passion and liking your marraige partner is important.

Let's return to the scriptures from Genesis 2 where the law of first mentioned was applied. 

ADAM AND EVE

Adam was in the company of different kind of animals day in and out yet the Bible noted the following:

"So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found." Gen. 2;20

Adam saw each animal, gave them names yet he did not find any suitable partner for himself. Because the same breath by which the Scripture says he named the animals; the next line says no suitable partner was found for him.

Let's see his reaction when Eve was presented to him in the same chapter.

"And Jehovah Elohim built the rib that he had taken from Man into a woman; and brought her to Man. And Man said,

 THIS TIME it is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: this shall be called Woman, because this was taken out of a man.

This time means, the other encounters with living scripture did not suit his heart. I am fond is saying the jump up with excitement when he saw Eve that he was ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.

Before man the man is United with his parents; after marraige, the man should be united with his wife. And liking some things about her that tinge is fancy is an added advantage to  him.  You find it easier to touch something you like that someone you don't like something about them.

ISAAC and Rebecca.

Isaac was an only child of his mother and it is obviously he cleaved to her during her lifetime. It was.only after the death of Sarah, Isaac's mother that a bride was sought for Isaac.

But we are more concerned about Isaac's reaction when he married Rebecca.

"Then Isaac brought Rebekah into the tent of Sarah, his mother and she became his wife . Isaac loved her very much and so he was comforted after his mother's death" Gen. 24:66

You may not understand how important Isaac's reaction to Rebekah was until you examine the reaction of Jacob to Leah a woman he did not love to have as a marraige partner.

JACOB AND LEAH

"Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” Genesis 29:17

Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant. When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Gen. 29:24

If having sexual relationships with a woman can make a man fall in love with her, then Jacob should be excited on the first morning after his wedding night when he saw Leah instead of Rachel.

Even God knew that Jacob loved Rachel move than Leah. Leah struggled almost all her life doing all she could to make her husband love her. Jacob had sexual relation with her but obviously he did not love her if not she would not keep expecting and hoping her husband will love her after the birth of a new son.

"Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”" Hen. 29:32

It shows that child birth and sexual relations does not guarantee that a man or woman will become passionate about you. God would not have created mankind with emotions and feelings if he does not want us to use it.

BOAZ AND RUTH

Ruth find herself in Boaz field and k am sure that other ladies were in the same field. But Boaz had developed a liking for Ruth based in the report he heard of her kindness and good behaviour towards her mother in law.

Boaz liked Ruth so much that he was.willingly to challenge a kinsman for her. He was concerned about her dignity and went an extra mile to demonstrate his kindness to her. Liking your marraige partner makes it easier for you to develop and sustain your love for them. 

“The LORD bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character." Ruth 3:10-12

We are not writing about uncontrollable feelings that makes you sweat all other. Ruth had been married and lost her husband. Yet here is a passionate man here who is ready to go to the gate of the Town and find all possible means to make her his wife.

When you have passion for anything, you will be ready to overlook a lot of things to focus on your passion.

Elkanah and Hannah

Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. I Samuel. 1

Elkanah had two wives and Peninnah had what she cause a man to love her  naturally: she had children especially sons yet the Bible stated that Elkanah loved his wife though she had no son for him.

In the time of crisis, your love for a.man or woman will help in going the extra mile for them with complaining.

WHAT ABOUT DIVINE LOVE ?

Divine live is the foundation for all human relationship. Divine love empowers the believer to love their enemies and those who persecute them. We know and believe strongly that no Christian marraige can be truly happy without divine love committal love which should be the foundation of all Christian marraige.

But suiting with a friend that you enjoy their company, you can discuss your deepest secrets with them; you are not afraid to be vulnerable with them. Do you know among the disciples, our LORD Jesus had a disciple that the Bible says  ' The Disciples that the LORD loved".

The Master loved all the disciples but His love seen special for this disciple. 

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER LIKE YOU!

I have unconsciously continue to carry out an experiment with Children. It started innocently, l found out that l am easily drawn to children and enjoy their company.

But l notice that at first some Children may not warm up to a complete stranger. Therefore after l make the first attempt to reach out to them and they resist me, l don't force myself on them.

Rather l smile at them and walk away. The next time, l see them, l smile, and just touch them a little in an attempt to play them smile. Sometimes l tepaet this for.dayw, until l observed that when this child sees me, their face brightens up in a smile and some even reach for me to take them in my hands.

Before long, this children come to trust you and they even reach to you before you get to them. The key to sustainbg this relationship is keep doing what they like to them.

It is the same with adults especially in a love relationship. Just as friendship may die when you do noting to keep the flow of feelings going, so there may be drought of feelings in your marraige when you stopped doing what initually tickle your partner.

.king David had about four wives when he saw the Beersheba bathing naked. We may advocate that Satan set Beersheba up by the Enemy used what could tickle King David's fancy against him.

If you learn to consciously do what please your partner during courtship and in marraige, you can truly have a happy marriage inspite of the various challenges that may arise. Does it mean the feelings will always be 100%  favourable, l hope so.

But you must know that just as you put much efforts into making Career and business works, triple efforts is needed to make you home blissful as you envisage on the Wedding Day.