HAPPINESS

Diamond is Forever' is a line is a Love song that treads in all generations. . Diamonds are precious, stones; beautiful, exquisite and a treasure you want to protect from all possible damage.

Your Love relationship with that precious heart is invaluable, an inestimable treasure that must be guided with utmost care.

We are creatures that crave care and sincere attention; your heart is yearning, craving always for a sure dependable companion. You want someone you can be vulnerable: a lover you can trust, a lifelong friend in which your heart can rest. This is the meaning of the word 'Love'. It's two trusting Heart intricately interwoven as one.

God's plan for a man and woman bond by marriage covenant is bliss, joy, trust, forgiveness and riches untold. Your actions, mindset and attitudes must be tailored to ensure that you enjoy all that God desires for you in your Love relationship.

Your Love is Forever
The Sweet feelings is eternal
Tender Care is for Always
Bliss should Be Lifelong
The Creator ordain it So
You must Believe it
And it will So in Your Home!

One recurring thought that always crosses my mind after the Groom and Bride say "l do" is 'Lord Jesus, will they be able to keep the excitement, friendship and sweetness flavour in their homes and marriage after the Honeymoon stage.

A music artist sang "diamonds are forever". I believe the marriage institution needs an award winning song sang by every intending couples with the words " "our friendship and love must shine forever by our conscious actions and attitudes"

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION
The pertinent question at this point is " is it possible to maintain the glow seen on the Wedding Day throughout the life line of the marriage? By the word ' flow', l imply the excitement, the spontaneous touching by the couple if they are truly into each other.

TWO SIDED ANSWER
My answer is YES and at the same time NO. I will cite the examples of celebrities and a former president to buttress my submission to this question.

On the Red carpet for films premiere; married, engaged celebrities want to show their fans and audiences that they are still much more in love and they show lot of 'PDF' in public.

I observed a former President of the United State of America, who is fond of showing a lot of 'PDF' in public. I believe their love is genuine because the loving facial expressions is not coerced after many years of marriage. They act and looked as if they are still strongly drew and attracted to each other after many years of marriage. ( excerpt both are very good actors, their continual glow in marriage looks like the real thing)

I know some culture and religion does not encourage the show of 'PDF' in public and some persons are brought up with the notion that you don't wear your feelings on your sleeves in public

But my initial question is " can couples maintain attractions to each other after many years of marriage and can they maintain the glowing atmosphere in their marriages after honeymoon.

LOVE IS BEYOND SWEET FEELINGS
Firstly, l want to establish the fact that loving someone is not just ingrained in the public and private display of emotions.

Loving a man or woman truly starts from a decision you made. A lot of ladies and guys don't realise that they are in control of who and when they fall in love or get attracted to the opposite sex.

You must know that overtime, you input certain information about who you like, you don't like, what you like and you don't like about an individual or potential marriage partner into your mind.

It is this pre-programmed data of information that influences or informs your decision or seemingly ' spontaneous intense feelings about certain individuals- either to love them or dislike them.

This data of information may be influenced by what your parents told you, what you picked up from your parents and relatives marriage relationships. it may be influenced by what you heard, seen on social media, it may be influenced by your personal experiences as you interact with others.

it may even be influenced by manipulations of demons and it may be as a result of what the Holy Spirit told you about who to marry or who is your partner in destiny.

Falling in love is not an uncontrollable impulse that happens to you randomly.
It happens as influenced by these stored data in your mind and heart. So it is this information that make it seem you fall in love out of your control.

Even a man who falls in love with a prostitute, somewhere along the line had allowed the data of information to sift into his heart and mind that it will be surely 'Cool' to marry 'a Runs lady' either out of pity or for the notion of sexual expertise of run girls. ( Am speaking from purely factual base and not in any way advocating for a believer in Christ to marry an unrepentant 'Runs'. lady.)

The same way, you programmed your heart to fall for the partner of your choice, you can also feed your mind and heart with information that allows you to keep the glow in your marriage and home.

Sincerely, l believe any art can be learned and practised. We were born empty, it shows that every attitude, knowledge and skill you have was learnt and acquired. You just need to learn what it takes to build that home that is filled with the joy of the Spirit.

Like l said, Love is a decision and not just good feelings that change based on circumstances and is not totally reliable for continually marital bliss.

If you only touch your spouse, compliment them, speak 'softly' to them when you have high and intense feelings of love" then you are in for a long ride that is easily manipulated by the flesh and the Enemy.

Happiness can be incited by various elements like a new car, promotion in the office, increased Church attendance etc but happiness by a decision made by its recipient irrespective of the present circumstances is best and more reliable.

Some christians believe that God leads you to marriage partner, others believe - he that finds a wife. Whatever method adopted, you either made a decision to agree with the Holy Spirit counsel or just follow the leading of your heart .

Likewise you must make a decision to store in your spirit, subconscious and conscious mind, data that will allow you to always display loving actions and reactions to your spouse at all times.
The Bible rightly says " As a man thinks so he is"

Touching your spouse and validating them by loving words are actions you can program into your subconscious and they gush out at all times needed .

Every man has an idea of what they like and what they don't like, likewise your spouse his/her likes and dislikes.

Loving someone necessitates that we find out what makes them happy and feel appreciated.

We are individualistic just as our taste and likes are different ; one man may feel truly appreciated when his spouse compliment every kind gestures, while another likes to be appreciated when he pays the bill.

There are different love languages, you just need to learn what tickles your lover. Adaptation to the different love languages may be as a result of upbringing. Some parents show appreciation for the good behaviour by their children by praising them verbally, others reward good behaviour with tangible gifts. Such parents are consciously or unconsciously formatting the love gesture the child would come to enjoy in their adult years So you must find out what sparks excitement in your marriage partner and deliberately enjoy doing it for them

You don't only touch your spouse when you feel like or when it's time for sex. Touching is one inexpensive way to show your partner, am still attracted to you.

You as a man, you can train your eyes and gaze to follow your wife's movement in the house, you can deliberately catch her gaze and hold it for a while.. It's your way of saying" Babe, l still love and am into you"

I know we are busy with our careers, ministries and trying to make the 'big bucks' but out of this busyness, you can create time to watch your favourite TV shows, chat online for hours, watch football matches etc. You can equally put in extra efforts in your marriage and home by putting it on the top alert list.

A top Executive said " I ensure at all times that my family calls and chats are treated as top priority and always l return to a warm welcome at home" To reap a truly happy home, you must sow seeds of love. Many Christian couples operate as flat mates in their homes and not as lovers as God intended.

Listen, the physical, emotional environment is already filled with enough pain, but Jesus came that we should have abundant life and that the joy of the Holy Ghost should fill our hearts.

So while we sacrificially spread the Gospel of Christ, fight insurgents in our nation ,fulfill divine mandate, let ensure that our homes are a place of comfort, joy, happiness.

Your home should be where you go and you are happy, elated, excited that you are going home- for you know every burden would be shared by someone who is truly Interested in your happiness and understands you.

After a very busy day for me and l drive through the gate leading to my apartment , a kind of serenity comes over me, l feel a gentle but powerful vibes and my soul resounds "AM HOME"

. That's what the Creator intends when He said " The two shall become one", two shall receive better reward for their labour and one will chase a thousand and two, their tens of thousands.

Such joy such unspeakable joy
Such peace and everlasting peace
Such love pure and holy love
Spirit have Your way in me

There's a peace that floods my soul
When the Spirit of the Lord is in control
And there's a joy, no bounds can hold
When the Spirit blows a fresh wind through my soul
Holy Spirit flow through me
Touch my heart and there will, there will be

Such joy such unspeakable joy
Such peace and everlasting peace
Such love pure and holy love
Spirit have Your way in me

Such joy such unspeakable joy
Such peace and everlasting peace
Such love pure and holy love
Spirit have Your way in me
Spirit have Your way in me

Love is the best lubricants for human relationship. The Creator ordained mankind to enjoy all He created and to the fullest. Bliss and happiness is ingrained into creatures.

The beautiful birds that flies in the Sky is supposed to stir up sweet high feelings in the Human Soul and peace in the inner man.

The dishes caught in the Sea and fried, cooked is ordained to give sweet savor and pleasure to the taste bud and refreshed the human body with strength.

God created all things for His pleasure and desired to give us pleasure too and creatures mould in His image and likeness.

But we see a different law at play when you consider the high degree of hardship and the uncertainty of living under the Sun. You intend to question the essence of human existence when faced with pain that attempts to crush the soul.

A child is born, grows in age and size, and is gainfully employed, we term this simple process ; progressive living. Then you work hard to become successful and rich only to find yourself dead and on the other side of Eternity.
You had left all you toiled and labour for many years.

What is God's original intention for mankind? Did He expected that the first man and woman will be subjected to a lifetime of toiling under the Sun till death visits? Did He created the Earth to be a place for killings, sorrow and grief.?

Lets return to Genesis 1-3 and attempt to get answers from the Bible Study principle of the Law of first mention.

Before God created the first man and woman and put them in the Garden; the Creator ensured everything they needed for a life of ease and enjoyment was given.
This shows the will and benevolence of the Father. The fact that God created all things for man's enjoyment was also revealed in 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Apostle Paul said:

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, WHO RICHLY PROVIDES US WITH EVERYTHING FOR OUR ENJOYMENT.

Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

These are two explicit witnesses in the Bible that God never intended man to live in pain and suffering; For what does a Good God has to gain from the pain of man?.
But the Book of Genesis reveals the source of all evil in the World.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “ Genesis 3:13-19

The Woman listened to the Evil genius whose eternal mission is to steal, kill and destroy and thus pain, destruction was introduced into the World.

The Wedding Day unfathomable happiness is ordained by God to last for a lifetime. Bible readings supports this fact ' He who finds a wife; finds a good thing and obtains favour from the LORD. Favour is a good blessing in the life of any man. Either favour obtained purely as a gift of mercy from God or favour obtained as a result of human efforts.

Reaction and response to issues and your thoughts determine your feelings per time. When you release positive feelings on an issue, happiness is birthed but if you choose to release a negative response to an event then sorrow is the result.

Happiness or Sadness is all about reactions, responses; It means it can be managed. If you guide your responses to things based on the stipulations of scriptural provision, you can keep sadness away at all times and serve the LORD' s purpose in this generation with joy and happiness.

People have pre-grammed data stored in their minds on how to cope with various issues that occur in their life- time. These information are cumulated over time from experiences, cultural beliefs, books and exposures etc.

For King David, disappointments always birthed a New Psalm. He pours out his negative feelings through his writing.

Some Psalms reveals that David was not so easy on his enemies ( Psalm 109, Psalm 5) while other Psalm reveals that he had learnt to praise God in difficult times.. (Psalm 3, Psalm 7). And when David was happy, such as Pslam 8, 18 were birthed. When he was grateful, (Pslam 100-104 ) reflected his thoughts.

Singing and writing was David's way of expressing the tumult in his Soul. The Scriptures advises on what our reaction should be on different circumstances that may present itself.

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray.

IS ANYONE HAPPY? LET THEM SING SONGS OF PRAISE.

Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord" James 5;13-14

Happiness has a voice and a face, it has an atmosphere, it can be seen and touched and it flows from the soul. The soul is the seat of both sorrow and happiness, you determine which river flows out of you.

"Doth the fountain send forth from the same opening sweet water and bitter?" James 3:11

King Solomon on the other hand dealt with the vacuum in his soul by giving himself to pleasure, wine, projects and of course more women. Yet he was not happy, the fear of dying and leaving all his achievements behind plagued his soul. ( The Book of Eccl.)

I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless.

“Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?”

I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly —my mind still guiding me with wisdom.

I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.

I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. .....

I bought male and female slaves .........I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me.

I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces.

I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart.

I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.

My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil.

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Eccl 2.

Leah is happy whenever she does or achieve anything that she felt will make her husband love her.

She did not discover what makes her husband truly happy , she assumed giving him sons would make him happy yet after four sons, the attention and heart of Jacob was not solely hers.

Then she resolved to make God her Source of true happiness.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children. Genesis 29:35

We must make God our Source of true happiness. God has given us joy as a gift but we must also learn to make Him the source of our happiness.

IS CONTINUAL HAPPINESS A REALITY IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES?
God purposed marriage and relationships for companionship, bliss and fruitfulness; it was never intended to cause sadness and pain.

No matter what you see in the world presently: News of newly married couples breaking up permanently after one year of their wedding ceremony, domestic abuse and violence, Christian couples filling the clientele forms of the Divorce Court, you must understand that the marriage relationship is originally intended for pleasure and satisfaction.
You are ordained for happiness with your respective spouse.

The Enemy knows that if a lady/ guy fails in the choice of marriage partner, no matter how anointed such is, it will take a lot of grace and mercy to fulfill God’s calling joyfully.
We have good examples of believers with blissful and happy marriages but the sad story is that we also have believers who had and have broken marriages and their negative stories and testimonies can be a source of fear to the Christian singles.
I have discovered in life that you reign and go up by divine knowledge. There is no endeavor that cannot be successful if its principle of operation is acquired and learned. I have an electric pressing iron that I have been using for over ten years and have not repaired once. Although, I pray over every appliances I buy, but I also ensure that I follow the instructions of the manual as much as possible. While I rely on God saving grace to keep my appliance safe, I ensure that I don’t deliberately go against given instructions for its safety.
This fact also applies in our marriage relationship, to have a successful marriage and happiness in your home; you must rely on the knowledge and wisdom provided in the Bible, but you also have a very crucial part to play and a price to pay. Christ paid the price for every blessing to be yours by faith- you must do your part to sustain the blessings.
The divorce rate in the World is alarming, some countries has as much as 65% divorce rate. Ed Stetzer assessed that couples who are active in their faith are less likely to divorce and the same article published in Christianity today magazine states that 53% of very happy couples agree with the statement “God is at the center of our marriage.” Divorce rate will always be on the increase as long as the World refuses to accept the Divine order of Agape love as being the necessary foundation, crux of a blissful home and insist on ‘ Eros love’ and ‘philoes love’ as the most important elements needed for a happy marriage.
You don’t necessarily need to be physically attracted to a man to fall in love with him. Put a guy and lady in a close environment either office, house or even church especially if the guy/lady is one who truly fears God, whose lifestyle is enamored by kindness, grace and the fruits of the spirit, love for such will swell like a gushing river, feelings of being in love will radiant on a daily basis. Such guy becomes the most handsome man on the planet for the lady because good feelings are usually encouraged by lovely actions.
When actions and expressions of love die in a relationship, its only a matter of time, before happiness in such relationship dwindles. It takes deliberate and conscious actions to keep the needed glow in a marriage relationship in the short and long run. Many couples are cohabitant in their marriages instead of bring intimate friends and lovers.
Joyce Meyer said if Christian wives serve and respect their husbands the way they respect and serve their pastors, Christian men will feel as kings in their homes and truly find it easy to love their women as Christ love the Church.

Happiness is a mindset and not a gift. It is believed that there are catalysts for happiness, things you can see or do that bring instant Happiness.

But in my opinion and has supported by the Bible, the greatest SOURCE of happiness is the Loving Father who is the Almighty God.

And the greatest catalyst for happiness is His Word, teaching and guidance given by the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 32:8 says
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."

God is loving and all His actions are inspired by Love-His rebuke, judgments and guidances have their root in His Love.

He desires the best, Life can offer you and He is doing all within His might to ensure that you enjoy His provisions and blessings.

But to access all these, you must learn from Him for His only motive for relating with humanity is LOVE.

Jesus said
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"

When you refuse to take the burden of your Father, then know that you will surely carry the burden of Satan, the enemy and be controlled by His yoke.

I pray this new week will be filled with awesome testimonies as you wait on the LORD for His GUIDANCE given in LOVE .

InSpired.
IS CONTINUAL HAPPINESS A REALITY IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES?

God purposed marriage and relationships for companionship, bliss and fruitfulness; it was never intended to cause sadness and pain.

You are ordained for happiness with your respective spouse.

The Enemy knows that if a lady/ guy fails in the choice of marriage partner, no matter how anointed such is, it will take a lot of grace and mercy to fulfill God’s calling joyfully.

We have good examples of believers with blissful and happy marriages but the sad story is that we also have believers who had and have broken marriages and their negative stories and testimonies can be a source of fear to the Christian singles.

I have discovered in life that you reign and go up by divine knowledge.
There is no endeavor that cannot be successful if its principle of operation is acquired and learned.

Let me site an example. I have an electric pressing iron that I have been using for over ten years and have not repaired once. Although, I pray over every appliances I buy, but I also ensure that I follow the instructions of the manual as much as possible.

While I rely on God saving grace to keep my appliance safe, I ensure that I don’t deliberately go against given instructions for its safety.

This fact also applies in our marriage relationship, to have a successful marriage and happiness in your home; you must rely on the knowledge and wisdom provided in the Bible, but you also have a very crucial part to play and a price to pay.

Christ paid the price for every blessing to be yours by faith- you must do your part to sustain the blessings.

The divorce rate in the World is alarming, some countries has as much as 65% divorce rate. Ed Stetzer assessed that couples who are active in their faith are less likely to divorce and the same article published in Christianity today magazine states that 53% of very happy couples agree with the statement “God is at the center of our marriage.”

Divorce rate will always be on the increase as long as the World refuses to accept the Divine order of Agape love as being the necessary foundation, crux of a blissful home and insist on ‘ Eros love’ and ‘philoes love’ as the most important elements needed for a happy marriage.

You don’t necessarily need to be physically attracted to a man to fall in love with him.

Put a guy and lady in a close environment either office, house or even church especially if the guy/lady is one who truly fears God, whose lifestyle is enamoured by kindness, grace and the fruits of the spirit, love for such will swell like a gushing river, feelings of being in love will radiant on a daily basis.

Such guy becomes the most handsome man on the planet for the lady because good feelings are usually encouraged by lovely actions.

When actions and expressions of love die in a relationship, its only a matter of time, before happiness in such relationship dwindles.

It takes deliberate and conscious actions to keep the needed glow in a marriage relationship in the short and long run. Many couples are cohabitant in their marriages instead of bring intimate friends and lovers.

Joyce Meyer said if Christian wives serve and respect their husbands the way they respect and serve their pastors, Christian men will feel as kings in their homes and truly find it easy to love their women as Christ love the Church.

InSpired
I CHOSE TO BE HAPPY
Happiness is a choice
Remaining Happy is an aspect of Joy
It is high excited feelings induced by a positive environment and circumstances

But when You Chose to be Happy when the circumstances has lost its dance
And the voice of the situation is gloomy
It is way of saying

' Listen Circumstances! You will not Rob me of Health and Vitality
I refuse to release the steering of my heart and feelings to you

I will not permit you to dump your flood of bitterness in my restored Soul
The Most High dwells within your walls Oh, my Soul
For My Redeemer,
Jesus Christ is your everlasting Friend

The Holy Spirit comforting and soothing balm and fragrance flows into you as the River of Joy

I chose to be Happy
Paul and Silas sang when the prison wanted to steal their Song

Happiness!, Oh Happiness!
It is a CHOICE
Because if you choose to be sad
You have nothing to gain from your Sorrow
For Sorrow rips the fabric of Serenity in your Soul
And cloth the Rays of Sunshine with hopelessness

But l Say
"I have Joy like a River
Joy like a River
Joy like a River in my Soul

I chose the Word of God
I will pay attention to its SAYINGS
I will not allow the Word depart from my Heart
For the Word of God is Life to Me
And Health to All my flesh

I have the Holy Spirit within my Heart
Hallelujah!
Righteousness
Peace
Joy in the Spirit
I have Joy within my Soul
I CHOSE TO BE HAPPY

Love is the best lubricants for human relationship. The Creator ordained mankind to enjoy all He created and to the fullest. Bliss and happiness is ingrained into creatures.

The beautiful birds that flies in the Sky is supposed to stir up sweet high feelings in the Human Soul and peace in the inner man.

The dishes caught in the Sea and fried, cooked is ordained to give sweet savor and pleasure to the taste bud and refreshed the human body with strength.

God created all things for His pleasure and desired to give us pleasure too and creatures mould in His image and likeness.

You had left all you toiled and labour for many years.

Lets return to Genesis 1-3 and attempt to get answers from the Bible Study principle of the Law of first mention.

Before God created the first man and woman and put them in the Garden; the Creator ensured everything they needed for a life of ease and enjoyment was given.

This shows the will and benevolence of the Father. The fact that God created all things for man's enjoyment was also revealed in 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Apostle Paul said:

These are two explicit witnesses in the Bible that God never intended man to live in pain and suffering; For what does a Good God has to gain from the pain of man?.

But the Book of Genesis reveals the source of all evil in the World.

The Woman listened to the Evil genius whose eternal mission is to steal, kill and destroy and thus pain, destruction was introduced into the World.

FINDING HAPPINESS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

A CASE STUDY OF LEAH

Joy and Happiness are words used interchangeably and similar in their manifestations. But these two words are products of two different faculty in the the make up of a man.

Joy is a fruit of the spirit where the Holy Spirit dwells. It is purely supplied by the Holy Spirit and it is irrespective of a man's favourable or unfavourable circumstances. The Bible says in Romans 14:17:

"for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, and peace, and joy in [the] Holy Spirit."

Happiness on the other hand is a product of the human soul. It is high intensive feelings produced in the human soul as a result of favourable circumstances and can also triggered by external elements such as drugs, music , achievements and other factors. It is usually accompanied by laughter.

'“Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?” I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly —my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives. I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks.... Eccl. 2:2

Leah , a woman who find herself in relationship whereby she did all within her power to make her husband love her more yet his heart was bethrothed to Rachel at first sight.

And he never allowed any person replaced Rachel in his heart excerpt Rachel's children. He chose to fall in love with Rachel at first sight and transferred that love to Rachel's children at her death though Leah was still alive.

Leah was beautifully and wonderfully made by God; she was a beautiful woman in her right but when compared to her sister; Rachel, she was less beautiful to her husband Jacob.

Rachel and Leah were begotten by the same parents; it means the resemblance is a matter of who they looked like: either thei rmother or father. So it was not Leah's fault that Rachel had a better physical attributes in the sight of Jacob.

On the other hand, Jacob was coming from a family of very beautiful women. His grandmother; Sarah was extricately beautiful. She had the kind of beauty that enthralled Kings. Rebecca; Jacob's mother was admired and wanted by a king though she was married.

Therefore a stronghold has been built in the mind and heart of Jacob for the kind of wife he desires and wanted.

Secondly, Jacob was close to his mother and had heard the story of how Eliezer got Rebecca to become a wife for Isaac; Jacob's Father. So when it was Rachel he met at the Well, he concluded this was divine provision. It happened with my mother, it is been repeated in my search for a wife. ( The Enemy can sure produce counterfeits of what God's power did)

But he forgot the case of Abraham's servant; Eliezer was different. Eliezer prayed for the special circumstances that surrounded the choice of Rebecca as Isaac's wife. Also, Abraham prayed that God's angel will do the searching. Secondly, Eliezer specially asked for that circumstance.

"Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.

"See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.

May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ —let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac.

By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.

She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The woman was very beautiful,

Jacob did not offer such specific prayers or request for that specific template. This is why you must be extremely careful.on the marriage template you follow.

Divine provision knows all things and always put that into consideration especially in an issue of marriage . The tradition in Laban's house was that the first daughter must get married before the last daughter. Laban knew this fact and our heavenly Father also knew this fact but Jacob did not know obviously.

Probably if Jacob had involved God in the choice of marriage partner, God would have counsel him to wait or advice him to marry Leah for she will begot Judah whose Name will be associated with God's earthly ancestral. The Bible does not speak clearly on this matter but we can rightly deduct from factors in the story.

Therefore Leah was plunged into a loveless marriage. A marriage where her husband felt she was forced on him because maybe nobody else wants marry her. We are sure Leah would be very happy when Jacob came to their household. She would have believed God has answered her prayers because it was her turn to be married. But alas her husband sees her as a burden and not a blessing. He showed her by his actions that she was forced on him and he would not have married her if he had a say lin the matter.

Instead of receiving her as a blessing, he saw her as an unwanted factor in his life.

FACTORS THAT MAY CAUSE A MAN TO NOT YO LOVE HIS WIFE.

Love is defined in the Bible as the act of showing kindness, patience, tolerance and giving happiness to another Human being. 1 Cor. 13:1. This definition is sufficient for the definition of love as Phileo, and Agape. It is a love that is a committal and not necessary a love based on feelings. You don't have to have high feelings for this kind of love. It is a love that is strictly based on a heart commitment to bring joy and show good to another human and in this case your wife or husband.

This kind of committal love desires to always do things that pleases the other party. It has some similarity with the decision a worker takes to always do things that please the boss. This is a.decision that is not dependent on favourable or unfavourable circumstances.

It says ' I will do all within my power to please you, so help me God'.

A man and woman must have this commitall love for their spouse to have a lasting marriage filled with happiness. Happiness can be created over and over again in the family just as romance can be kept alive in a relationship through date nights; 'Us alone' and it's 'all about you' nights. All these nights and event are created by couples and marriage counsellors to keep alive the feelings of love and romance in the marriage

The type of love relationship that needs dates nights and romantic gestures to keep its feelings and power alive in the home is called 'Eros" it is a love completely based on how a man/ woman feels per time. The fuel that keeps its engine rolling is high feelings and this feeling depend entirely in favourable conditions which can also be pre arranged.

Eros is strictly based on feelings. The fuel for this kind of love is feelings. When the feeling is high, the expression of love of touching, kissing, kind gestures and sweet words is very high. But when the subject is hurt and has low.fewlings, Eros may not function.

Believers must understand that been 'spiritual' does not eradicate Eros from their marriage. It is only animals that mate without feelings.

Believers are spiriit beings ; who have a SOUL and dwells in a body. We guess one of the reason, God created us with a soul is so that we can use our volition and feelings to relate with one another.

The foundation of every Christian marraige must be Agape love because only this kind of love allows spouse to relate in selfishness, but

'Philoes' kind of love must be a life companion in the marraige because you need to enjoy each other companion away from Church and when you are not involved in a spiritual activities

But it is equally important that your heart beat faster; your face break into a smile, your hands sweat a little because you desire to touch your lover and your soul is calm and feels satisfied about talking, touching your marriage partner.

The God who created man as a creature of feelings ngs predeteemined that three kinds of love is experienced in marriage.

When Eve was presented to Adam, Rebecca was presented to Isaac, Boaz decided that he would redeemed Ruth as a kins Redeemer and Jacob saw Rachel for the first time; their feelings were aroused, they did not just accepted God' s provision but they also liked their choices of marraige partners

This was leaking in Leah and Jacob's relationship. She was forced on him. And Jacob was not able to overcome this singlary factor in his marraige. He did not successfully adjust his attitudes ' Though this woman was forced on me as a marriage partner but l don't have to make her suffer all her life for a mistake that is not hers'. God of Abraham and Isaac, please help me to love her as a lover and not just the mother of my children.

YOUR THOUGHTS AFFECTS YOUR ACTIONS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

We must understand that humans are Creatures of words. Your life follow the direction of your words.

Actions are birthed by the thoughts for as a man thinks, so his actions will be in any situation.

A bright countenance is a reflection of Positive thoughts and will give birth to wholesome actions. Yesterday, l was listening to a sermon online that caused me to meditate on some negative thoughts. In a short while, I was sad and had tears running down my cheeks.

Your thoughts control your actions. If you will learn to meditate only on the good qualities and attributes of your husband/wife at all times, happiness will not be a stranger in your home.

Proverbs 4

Let's carry out an exercise. Repeatly tell someone you don't like seeing them.person. In a matter of months you will notice that you want to avoid seeing that person. Secondly, you will not have happy feelings when you see them.

This is why you don't like picking the calls of certain persons. You have programmed your mind through thoughts that their calls are a burden to you. So when your phone screen show their name, your feelings go down and you will have to introduce excitments into your voice as you speak to them.

This happens because you have feed your mind with negative thoughts about them ànd this negative thoughts affects your feelings and ultimately your actions.

If we will learn to think about what is pure, true, lovely and of good reports about all men especially our spouse, if your thoughts about them is always good, then your feelings will follow your positive thoughts.

'Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS. Philippians 4:8

So Jacob did not have this high feelings about Leah but he had high feel about Rachel because of the stronghold of negative thoughts: Leah was forced on me, it was Rachel l wanted.

Many contemporary relationship situation carries this logo. The man or woman is forced into a marriage relationship beyond their control. Maybe a friend, family member introduced them. And the man felt let me just get married. His or her feelings were not spilling over but it was just a logical decuauin. Maybe the woman had a good job, or from a wealth background. The marriage was based on what the man and woman hoped to glean from the relationship.

Both parties can show exuberant feelings initially at the courtship period but everyone returns to their normal self when the marriage register is signed. The mask are off and partners reveal their true characteristics.

We will not discuss maybe because the lady get pregnant before the weeding night because.the Bible condemns fornication and pre marital sex.

2. The high feelings if love can be ectinguish tooo when the woman or the man does not speak gracious words in the home. Words are the lubricants for the human soul and spirit. Cruel.words can crush a.man's soul.and research has shown that the marriage relationship is a place where verbal.abuse is highest.

The wife uses unkind words to the husband and the husband inturn uses foolish word on his wife. Unkind words can crush the feels ngs of love esp cially in a woman:s heart. Then her love making with her husband is a routine and not a source of joy and happiness.

Unkind words have been known to.crush the feelings if love in a.marriage situation

King David desired and love Michael so much that he requested that she should be taken from her husband and brought back to him as his wife.

But the day Michel ridiculed him publicly because of his dancing moves; that was the last heard about Michel. Unkind words can kill.

A man and woman must learn to speak gracious words at all times.

WHAT SHOULD A WOMAN IN THAT KIND OF MARRIAGE TO DO!

1. Cry Out to The God who holds the Heart of Kings in His hand. Such woman should not try to win the man's attention, kindness and goodwill by her own strength or manipulation. She should commit the heart of her husband to God and asked God to break down every strainghild, mindset that makes it difficult for her husband to love her.

We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? James 3

A FALL IN HUMAN CHARACTER: Men and woman are creation of attractions. We are easily moved by what we see; the five sensory organs intends to control our actions.

Excerpt for the cases of arranged marriage, a man is usually attracted to a woman b cause of what he heard about her, what he saw in her. It may be her physical beauty, it may be her wealth , it may be her family name, it maybe her fear of God ( a Christian man) but you are always drawn by something.

It is only a few men that are drawn because of their relationship with the Holy Spirit. They have trained themselves to always follow the leasing and nudging of the Holy Spirit.

But you are drawn to a member of the opposite sex for a particular reason and mostly these reasons are informed by the ideas you have stored in your mind over time

Maybe from your parents, fri nds marraige, something you read and saw. There are ideas already store in your mind.

I remember that as.a young lady l vowed never to have anything to do with indigenes of Ondo state. I heard a story of one of my aunties who married into an Ondo family and was maltreated . So l spoke l will never have anything going on o do with them.

But God of all mercies, delivered me from this ignorant vow. I was posted to Ondo State for my NYSC and have be n there.since. Mindset is very powerful and we must always identify how it affects our d visions in life. Many are held bound by wrong mindset.

So if the source of attraction of a man to you is the way you dress but after marriage you stopped dressing that way, it may affect the way a.man/ woman feels about you.

So.whwn we stop doing what was responsible for the attraction, it may affect the flows of feelings in the home. Revelation 2 says if we want to retain our first love then we must go back to doing those things we did at first.

DEMONIC ATTACK.

We establish at the begining of this writing that Satan is the source of all pains and wickedness. In essence when God introduced pain to a person' s life or nation, it is pain as a result of God's judgement.

Judgement is inevitable if you transgress against God's Word and His way. Satan will attack anything good excerpt of it is a sewming good to achieve his purpose and carry out his agenda.

The marriages of believers are his primary attack because in Christian Marr age, God is supposed to be king and His will established on Earth as it is in heaven. Moreso, a Christian home is the number one platform through which the gospel of our LORD Jesus Christ must be propagated.

Every Christian spouse especially the woman must learn how to fight the good fight of faith. You must remain on your knees and keep on speaking aloud the Word of faith that you believe.

Your relationship must be in point with the Holy Spirit because He is the One who will help you take care of the invisible nword and enable you through his anointing to truumph over the works of darkness and he'll.

Without the Holy Spirit , we cannot do much.

The devil will do all he can yo frustrate your marriage but you must use the Word of God to keep him back in his defeated position as Jesus Christ guaranteed.

HOW TO RECREATE A LOVING FEELINGS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Leah was in a loveless marriage; her husband do not give her attention, his own attention was on Rachel. Obviously, Rachel was in control of her husband sex life. Though Leah gave her husband sons- what should make a man happy and gravitate towards you, it seem the joy of Jacob did not increase his love for Leah because the Bible noted that ' when God saw that Leah was not loved, God opens her womb. Probably Leah and Rachel were ordained to suffer the same thing that Isaac and Abraham his father suffered; delay in child bearing. But because Leah was not loved, God intervened on her behalf and she had children early. It was Rachel who was loved and had a bad attitude towards Leah that suffered the plight suffered by Rebecca and Sarah.

In Leah's cars, the only Being who could work a change of heart in the husband and that will be permanent is The Almighty who knew she was not loved. Obviously, Laban could do nothing about this issue probably because of culture. Another person that would have helped speak to Jacob and that he would listen is Rebeccah his mother and she is far away where she cannot intervened.

The only person that could help her is the God of Israel. Obviously, the husband had not taught her about the God of his fathers. So.she kept on trying all means to get her her husband's attention. When she noticed non was working, she resolve to her fate and turned.her love to God. This she did by naming her four son Judah- now l will praise the LORD.

As believers, God must be our first source of help in any situation. When we cry out to.God, our Father first, then He will raise all the other helpers we need. There will be challenges in marraige just as there are challenges in life but with the help of our Father we will.surely prevail.

PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! ALWAYS FOR YOUR SPOUSE

We have observed that when you continually pray for a person, your heart is favourable disposed to them. Naturally, you develop good feelings for the man, woman and child you pray for. There are some set of children in my street . Normally, l go to their house and teach them the scriptures. But l notice anytime, l see them on the street, my heart swells with joy and l greet them with greet happiness. That is the power of prayers.

The partner you pray for regularly, will always have a special place in your life. I remember what my former boss usually say. She would say " anytime l am making my husband meals, l would pray in tongues and proclaim my husband will always love me, that l will always find favour in his sight, l will only do him good all the days of his life and not him, he will always have confiden e in me. ( I added my own prayer point to hers)

Our LORD Jesus Christ said ' that the people of this world are wise in their generations. An unbelieving woman will go to an herbalist and ask for a love charm. Though, the herbalist knows nothing about the demonic world excerpt what he watches feo. Television, he will give a charm and tell her to put into her husband's food and sp ak what she wants her husband to do for her.

We have established that most of the things the Enemy does, he copied from God. He is not given the ability to create anything new. It is only man and God that has the ability to create anything new in the World.

Moreso, the Bible says with the heart you believe while with your mouth confession is made unto salvation

You desire that your husband should always love you and your home happy. Then you pray and believer it, then you must take the last step and make the right confessions to this prayers.

Even if the man is misbehaving, you must keep your confession intact, because with time if you do not doubt, the Holy Spirit will create you confession into reality.

The Bible says the mouth of the Lord has spoke it and His Spirit ( zeal) will bring it to past or perform it.

SAY IT EVEN IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT

Many person would say, l can't say what l don't believe yet the Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing again. One way to build your faith for any matter is to speak aloud what you believe about that matter.

A man who speaks continually about his fear of road accident will surely build a stronghold of fear for the same and it is only a matter of time before he/she s involved in one.

You must learn to say l love you, l appreciate you, you are a source of huge blessing to my life, you are a gift from God to me, l will always love you to your spouse even if you don't feel as it at that time

It is not hypocrisy, rather you are speaking what you believe to be the truth even if you don't feel like it at that time

A man/woman is ensnared by their words. I'd you speak such godly words that is what you will surely see. But if you chose to speak the otherwise that is what you will.also.see.

Happiness is our right as believers, we only need to learn how to access it. Apostle Peter was locked up in prison and he chose to sleep instead of crying or weeping at his negative lot. Paul and Silas were in prison and they chose to sing Psalms and spiritual songs to the God who can deliver them.

Happiness is a choice. Many factors would arise to make you unhappy always chose to be happy.

Only say what you want to see in the life of your spouse. You may not believe it at first but later you will start to believe it . Because saying it over and over again builds a stri ghold in your mind m

DO WHAT YOU DID AT THE BEGINING.

There was nothing Leah could about her marriage because the foundation of the marriage was very wrong and the Bible says if the foundation is destroyed what kind the righteous do. The only help was the intervention of the Almighty.

But if your relationship started on the right foundation, always ask your spouse what he/she likes even in loving making. Then consciously, deliberately continue to do with the help of the Holy Spirit

Marriage relationship is not ordained for divorce by God. It is meant to be a source of help to two persons while they are fulfilling their God"s given mandate of been fruitful and multupling and replenishing the Earth.

You are in that relationship to be a source of joy and happiness to another person but on a more intimate level. NGO go to community that needs help and offer assistance without expecting a reward from the people they helped.

Likewise Marriage is a place where the Golden rule I'd obeyed fully. You do to your spouse as you want him to do to you. Woman, no matter who your husband is, you must always make him look big in public and privately. Pleasing your spouse should be your number 1 vision in the home.

A man/ woman that is pleased at home will see no need for adultery excerpt fleshly and demonically induced.

You must find out what makes him/her happy and do it. God rewards you when you bring joy and happiness to any man/ woman created in His image and likeness. You are bring joy to Him.

The Bible spoke of our LORD Jesus Christ in Acts 10:38

how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

InSpired

THE POWER OF YOUR WORD WORDS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Words are life. They either bring God'snlife into your marriage and the life of your spouse and children or bring the death from the Enemy into the marriage .

Nothing kills love faster in the heart and happiness in the home than ungracious and unkind words. It can ruin the heart and destroy the strengths of a person.

The ranger if unkind words have s that it can renainvlodged in the memory of your spouse for a L Fe time.

The daughter of Jing Saul loved David her husband just as the soul of Jonathan cleaved to the same David m she deferred her father's order by keeping the live of David safe.

And David loved her so much too. After he became king over Judah and Israel, he asked that Michael be taken from the man she was living with because King David told the people of Benjamin to restore to him his wife.

Obviously David loved her to make this kind of request. But words that hurt, words that were not anointed with grace shut the womb of Micah and of course shut the door to any intimacy between her and her husband.

Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it . But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Paltiel son of Laish, who was from Gallim. Sam. 18:20

But it got to a point where that love turned to hatred and Michael rebuked and tried to correct her husband in public. Those ungracious word were that cause of her barrenness throughout her lifetime.

InSpired

THE LOVE THAT SHOULD BE BETTER THAN WINE

Leah was excited, elated and could not keep her enthusiasm to herself

Wow, her father Laban had used his fatherly love to give to her the desire of her heart

A Lover from a distant shore!

Probably she wanted Jacob also the moment she set her gaze on him.

But he had eyes only for her sister

And spend almost all his time with her because Rachel was a shepherdess just like Jacob was a shepherd

Rachel understood the bleating of the goat just as Jacob had the staff that leads the sheep

Love blossoms belween Jacob and Rachel as he led her where he feeds his sheep; to the resting place of his flock away from the scorching Sun

Jacob was the more endeared to Rachel because she was the woman who speaks his love language

"You are the most beautiful woman of all; he tells her; as they feed the young goats near the shepherds tents

"My darling, you are like a mare

Among Laban's stallion

Your cheeks are beautiful with ornaments and your neck with jewels

Jacob sang to his beloved Rachel

While the sheep dance to the beautiful songs of a lover

Maybe If l become a shepherdess

And care for my father's sheep like Rachel, my husband will love me more,

Leah, would have thought over and over again

But we guess all her hopes were ruined; when he turned away from her after just one week of drinking from her fountain

She had thought he would always gaze and quench his thirst from her well

But just seven days and he was ready to run to another fountain-

The fountain of her sister bitter utterances

Jacob did not leave Leah with her dignity intact

He left with a WORD

"Why did you deceived me, he cried bitterly to his father- in -law, Laban

And we can only guess he become the unwilling Lover for six days

Love making became a duty, an obligation

he had to carry out but not with the pleasure the Maker intend it to be

Because the Creator said in the Marraige manuel

"And a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife and they shall become ONE'

This is a love meant to break the umbilical cord of the mother from her son

Is a love that entangles itself beyond the realms of the physical flesh and finds its abode in the Soul

It's must be a love that wants to care; caressing in broad day light

A love that overlooks the peering stare of the Stars above

And the watching eyes of Abimelech through the window below

A heart fire that made Isaac play in broad day light with Rebecca , his sweet lover

"And it came to pass when he had been there some time, that Abimelech the king of the Philistines looked out of the window, and saw, and behold, ISAAC WAS DALLYING with REBECCA HIS WIFE." ( Darby )

He saw ISAAC HOLDING HIS WIFE REBEKAH TENDERLY

(NCV)

Abimlech , king of the Philistines looked out of his window and saw ISAAC FONDLING HIS WIFE REBEKAH

(The Message)

He saw ISAAC PLAYING WITH REBEKAH his WIFE. ( BBE )

behold, ISAAC was SPORTING WITH REBEKAH HIS wife. (KJV)

Indeed, Jacob must have sported with Rachel telling her sweet words that kept her soul wanting for him in eager anticipation

Yet he slept with Leah for seven days to fulfill the RIGHTEOUSNESS of the wedding week

Jacob' loving gaze must have told Rachel

'You are the One l want"

But His body poured his seed into Leah; a wife who had to buy his attention for one night with the mandrakes of her son

True, Laban deceived Jacob

But Leah spend day and night hoping for a love that was unrequited

Hoping her beloved would play with her.

Hoping, yearning, and craving she did until she gave up all hope

Then she got to this point where she turned to The God of her husband

And exclaimed ' Judah, l will praise Thy LORD!

KEEPING LOVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

The first and second question this inspired write-up will attempt to answer is:

1. Does God created mankind to enjoy happiness?

2. Can a Believer live a life that is free of sorrow, can your marriage and family always be filled with happiness?

Human emotion is potent and one of the most powerful tool that affects the direction of a man's decision. (Man is used as a genders inclusive term)

Research reveals the male tends to make decisions based on logic while female are geared to make decisions based on high and low feelings.

There are practical implications of the above statements. A female may make a decision to buy a dress based on if there is excitment or sadness in her emotion. She saw it, admired it and it's in her wardrobe, though it may be wore three times and never wore again.

On the other hand; a man will buy a piece of clothing based on logic:

-do l need this clothing or not?

- What purpose will it serve in my collection.?

-Will this sets of clothings earn the admiration of my friends?,

These are some of the deciding factors for the man

He is buying the clothing with his logic while the lady make purchases decision from the perspective of how she feels.

Whenever a lady is excited; she may ended buying more clothing than she needs but most men will rarely do this excerpt when on a spending spree

A woman would readily say ' l love you to her spouse and child when she is filled with high positive feelings and may rarely say; l love you when she is feeling sad and down in her emotions.

A male is expected to say 'l love you either he feels good or bad about it. If saying " I love you to a female will earn him higher points in her heart, he will readily say it. ( We speak from a pure Christian perspective for we know that a lady may say " I love to a male to manipulate him and gain access to his pocket)

It shows that the man operates from the mind; the faculty of reasoning.

REASONING

Rational thinking (or the capacity for it); the cognitive faculties, collectively, of conception, judgment, deduction and intuition.

EMOTIONS

A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data.

Reasoning is based on information of data in the mind and a decision of action is only reached when series of information is considered irrespective of the evidence presented by the sensory organs.

Emotions is based on information inpute into the mind through the seasoning organs of seeing, touching, hearing, feelings etc.

Unity is achieved in the home when the male and female combined their strengths and weaknesses. A wife must not continually nags at her husband for been emotionless and the husband should never rebuke the wife for her inability to think thoroughly on any issue.

Rather by the power of The Holy Spirit, the male must learn to express the emotions in His heart to his wife and the wife must learn to think thoroughly on any issue before making a decision or speaking.

Every marriage relationship needs the input of emotions and logic to survival but they need more especially the Voice of the Holy Spirit to strive as a couple