MARRIAGE

Chapter One

WHY YOU CANT TOLERANT OTHERS

You must know that as long as you are in the human flesh, everyone will never meet up, measure up to your stardard of behaviour, expectations and thinking.

Even believers who have experienced the New Birth and has the Nature of our Saviour: Jesus Christ will still not become exactly as you desired; act according to your expectation, speak the way you envisaged.

WHY?, they may have Christ live in them and live in Christ, but they are not YOU!

YOU are uniquely and fearfully created, formed, made to reflect all your attributes. Your personality, voice textures, desires, aspirations, style of eating, dressing, talking is all YOU and that makes you DIFFERENT and not necessary BETTER than others.

You may be a man or woman who is fast paced and make decisions on the Go. You want tomorrow's tasks done yesterday and want all your 'T' dotted and all your 'I' crossed. That still does not make 'YOU ' the best human being on the earth.

l can tell you this one truth. Unless you allow the nature of Christ in you to take root and manifest freely through you: You will be easily irritated with anybody that manifests any traits that is different from yours.

You will unconsciously view someone who is slowly -paced as lazy, not as bright as you are and often nag at their lack of wisdom ( complain verbally or in your mind) at their seemly personality that does not rush out to do things without thinking adequately about it.

Please kindly allow me to let you into this secret. In the sight of Jesus Christ our Lord, both personalities are beautiful and our LORD will not change one personality to become the other personality. He needs all personality type for His work on Earth and celebrates difference in individuals.

Instead the fruit of the Holy Spirit will flow through these different regenerated personalities to the glory of God.

This is why it was not Apostle Peter who was held up in the Island of Patmos to receive the Book of Revelation. Peter's personality type may not be able to sit still and receive all that treasures for generations.. God had to chose Apostle John.

Also Apostle John was not the one chosen to lead the New Church at its infancy state, Peter was chosen with his boisterous and lively personality. For he was known for his out-spoken nature.

God is wise and He knows the best traits we need in our personality. This is why He carefully and wonderfully crafted YOU to be you.

ACTION PLAN

1. Please accept and love the personality of all men and women as they are and not put verbal and influential pressure to make them become like you. Your husband, children, colleagues, subordinates may not be you but they certainly can complement you if you allow them to flourish.

2. Forgiveness and acceptance is easy when you realise whatever you are today was given by.God and you are not a superior Being. No matter how successful or swayful you have become. REMEMBER WE ALL RECEIVED BECAUSE YOU WERE GIVEN BY GOD.

You are born by a woman and will end up in the grave someday.as everyone else.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

-Can people change?

Yes of course

-Can YOU become a better YOU?

You were made for " one level of glory to a higher level of glory daily'

-Can you help others become better than when you first met them.?

Of course.God fashioned us for INTER- dependence.

Come down from your superior pedestal of ' I am.among the few privileged, favourite of God in humanity and help others become their best.

This is the reason Christ Jesus.came to the earth. He went about doing good and setting free all who was oppressed of the devil because.He was anointed to bring God's LOVE and HELP to others.

Chapter One B

Love is the best lubricants for human relationship

When you consider the hardship and uncertainty of living under the Sun, then you question the essence of human existence.

You are bo n, you grow up, you work very hard, become very rich and have wonderful hildten, then one day, you wake up on the other side of externality.

You have left all you toiled and labour for many years. So what is the will of the Father for humanity. Did God created the Earth to be a place of killings, sorrow and grief.

Lets return to Genesis 1-3 and examine he the law of first mention. Before God created the first man and woman and put them in the garden. God ensured everything they needed for a life if ease and enjoyment was given.

This shows the will and benevolence of the Father. The fact that God created all things ngs for man's enjoyment was also revealed in 1 Timothy 6:17-19

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

There is two explicit witnesses in the Bible that God did not intend man to live in pain and suffer. What does a good God has to gain from the pain of man.

But Genesis reveals the source of pain to humanity.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “ Genesis 3:13-19

The Woman listened to the Evil genius whose eternal mission is to steal, kill and destroy and thus pain, destruction was introduced into the World.

The Wedding Day happiness is ordained by God to last for a lifetime. The Bible clearly says ' He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the LORD. Favour is a good factor in the life of any man. Either favour obtained purely as a gift of mercy from God or favour obtained as a result of human efforts.

Marriage is created for joy and not for sorrow and sadness.

Leah was created by God and she is beautiful and wonderfully made by Him. Rachel and Leah were begotten by the same parents; it means the resemblance is a matter of who they looked like: theri mother or father.

Jacob in the other hand is coming from a family of very beautiful women. The grandmother of Jacob called Sarah was extricately beautiful. She had to he kind of beauty that enthralled Kings. Rebecca too was beautiful.

Therefore a stronghold has been built in the mind and heart of Jacob for the kind of wife he desires and want.

Secondly, Jacob was close to the mother and had heard the story of how Eliezer got the mother Rebecca to be a wife for Isaac; Jacob's Father. So when it was Rachel he met at the Wall, he felt his prayers were answered.

But he forgot that Elixer case was different. Elixer prayed for the special circumstances that surrounded Elixer. First Abraham prayed that God's angel will do the searching. Secondly, Elixer specially asked for that circumstance.

"Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.

"See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.

May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ —let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac.

By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.

She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The woman was very beautiful,

Jacob did not offer such specific prayers or request for that specific template. This is why you must be extremely careful.on the marriage template you follow.

Divine provision knows all things and always put that into consideration especially in an issue of marriage . The tradition in Laban's house was that the first daughter must get married before the last daughter. Laban knew this fact and our heavenly Father also knew this fact but Jacob did not know obviously.

Probably if Joseph had involved God in the choice of marriage partner, God would have counsel him to wait or advice him to marry Leah for she will begot Judah whose Name will be associated with God's earthly ancestral. The Bible does not speak clearly on this matter but we can rightly deduct from factors in the story.

Therefore Leah was plunged into a loveless marriage. A marriage where her husband felt she was forced on him because maybe nobody else wants marry. We are sure Leah would be very happy when Jacob came to their household. She would have believed God has answered her prayers because it was her turn to be married. But alas her husband sees her as a burden and not a blessing. He showed her by his actions that she was forced on him and he would not have married her if he had a say l n the matter.

Instead of receiving her as a blessing, he saw her as an unwanted factor in his life.

FAVYORS THAT CAUSR A MAN NOT YO LOVE HIS WIFE.

Love is defined in the Bible as the act of showing kindness, patience, tolerance and giving happiness to another Human being. 1 Cor. 13:1. This definition is sufficient for the definition of love as Phileo, and Agape. It is a love that is a committal and not necessary feelings. You don't have to have high feelings for this kind of love. It is a love that is strictly based on a heart commitment to bring joy and show good to another Human in this case your wife or husband.

This kind of committal love desires to always do things like hatbpleases the other party. Its as a decision that a worker takes to always do things that please the master. This is a.dwcision that is not dependent on favourable or unfavourable circumstances. It says ' I will do all within my power to please you, so help me God'.

A man.and woman must have this commitall love for their spouse and this kind of love can generate the necessary feelings that the love called Eros needed.

Eros on the other hand hand is a little be based strictly on feelings. The fuel for this kind of love is feelings. When the feeling is high, the expression of love of touching, kissing, kind gestures and sweet words is very high. But when the subject is hurt and has low.fewlings, Eros cannot function.

We must understand that human are creation of words. Our lives follow the dirwctuon of your words. Try this practical exercise. Repeatly tell a person that you hate them and do not like to see them. In a matter of months you will notice that you want to avoid seeing that person. Secondly, you will not have happy feelings when you see them.

It's just as you don't like picked Ng the calls of certain perwon because you have programmed your mind though thoughts that their calls are a.burden to you. So when your phone screen carries their name, your feelings go down and you will have to force happiness into your voice to speak to them.

This happens because you have feed your mind with negative thoughts about them ànd this negative thoughts affects your feelings about them.

If we will learn to think about what is pure, true, lovely and of good reports about all men especially our spouse, our thoughts about them will.alwayw be good and our feelings will follow our positive thoughts.

So Jacob did not have this high feelings about Leah but he had high feel about Rachel because of the stronghold of negative thoughts: Leah was forced on me, it was Rachel l wanted.

Many contemporary relationship situation carries this logo. The man or woman is forced into a marriage relationship beyond their control. Maybe a friend, family member introduced them. And the man felt let me just get married. His or her feelings were not spilling over but it was just a logical decuauin. Maybe the woman had a good job, or from a wealth background. The marriage was based on what the man and woman hoped to glean from the relationship.

Both parties can show exuberant feelings initially at the courtship period but everyone returns to their normal self when the marriage register is signed. The mask are off and partners reveal their true characteristics.

We will not discuss maybe because the lady get pregnant before the weeding night because.the Bible condemns fornication and pre marital sex.

2. The high feelings if love can be ectinguish tooo when the woman or the man does not speak gracious words in the home. Words are the lubricants for the human soul and spirit. Cruel.words can crush a.man's soul.and research has shown that the marriage relationship is a place where verbal.abuse is highest.

The wife uses unkind words to the husband and the husband inturn uses foolish word on his wife. Unkind words can crush the feels ngs of love esp cially in a woman:s heart. Then her love making with her husband is a routine and not a source of joy and happiness.

Unkind words have been known to.crush the feelings if love in a.marriage situation

King David desired and love Michael so much that he requested that she should be taken from her husband and brought back to him as his wife.

But the day Michel ridiculed him publicly because of his dancing moves; that was the last heard about Michel. Unkind words can kill.

A man and woman must learn to speak gracious words at all times.

WHAT SGOULD A WOMAN IN THAT KIND OF MARRIAGE TO DO!

1. Cry Out to The God who holds the Heart of Kings in His hand. Such woman should not try to win the man's attention, kindness and goodwill by her own strength or manipulation. She should commit the heart of her husband to God and asked God to break down every strainghild, mindset that makes it difficult for her husband to love her.

We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? James 3

A FALL IN HUMAN CHARACTER: Men and woman are creation of attractions. We are easily moved by what we see; the five sensory organs intends to control our actions.

Excerpt for the cases of arranged marriage, a man is usually attracted to a woman b cause of what he heard about her, what he saw in her. It may be her physical beauty, it may be her wealth , it may be her family name, it maybe her fear of God ( a Christian man) but you are always drawn by something.

It is only a few men that are drawn because of their relationship with the Holy Spirit. They have trained themselves to always follow the leasing and nudging of the Holy Spirit.

But you are drawn to a member of the opposite sex for a particular reason and mostly these reasons are informed by the ideas you have stored in your mind over time

Maybe from your parents, fri nds marraige, something you read and saw. There are ideas already store in your mind.

I remember that as.a young lady l vowed never to have anything to do with indigenes of Ondo state. I heard a story of one of my aunties who married into an Ondo family and was maltreated . So l spoke l will never have anything going on o do with them.

But God of all mercies, delivered me from this ignorant vow. I was posted to Ondo State for my NYSC and have be n there.since. Mindset is very powerful and we must always identify how it affects our d visions in life. Many are held bound by wrong mindset.

So if the source of attraction of a man to you is the way you dress but after marriage you stopped dressing that way, it may affect the way a.man/ woman feels about you.

So.whwn we stop doing what was responsible for the attraction, it may affect the flows of feelings in the home. Revelation 2 says if we want to retain our first love then we must go back to doing those things we did at first.

DEMONIC ATTACK.

We establish at the begining of this writing that Satan is the source of all pains and wickedness. In essence when God introduced pain to a person' s life or nation, it is pain as a result of God's judgement.

Judgement is inevitable if you transgress against God's Word and His way. Satan will attack anything good excerpt of it is a sewming good to achieve his purpose and carry out his agenda.

The marriages of believers are his primary attack because in Christian Marr age, God is supposed to be king and His will established on Earth as it is in heaven. Moreso, a Christian home is the number one platform through which the gospel of our LORD Jesus Christ must be propagated.

Every Christian spouse especially the woman must learn how to fight the good fight of faith. You must remain on your knees and keep on speaking aloud the Word of faith that you believe.

Your relationship must be in point with the Holy Spirit because He is the One who will help you take care of the invisible nword and enable you through his anointing to truumph over the works of darkness and he'll.

Without the Holy Spirit , we cannot do much.

The devil will do all he can yo frustrate your marriage but you must use the Word of God to keep him back in his defeated position as Jesus Christ guaranteed.

HOW TO RECREATE A LOVING FEELINGS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Leah was in a loveless marriage; her husband do not give her attention, his own attention was on Rachel. Obviously, Rachel was in control of her husband sex life. Though Leah gave her husband sons- what should make a man happy and gravitate towards you, it seem the joy of Jacob did not increase his love for Leah because the Bible noted that ' when God saw that Leah was not loved, God opens her womb. Probably Leah and Rachel were ordained to suffer the same thing that Isaac and Abraham his father suffered; delay in child bearing. But because Leah was not loved, God intervened on her behalf and she had children early. It was Rachel who was loved and had a bad attitude towards Leah that suffered the plight suffered by Rebecca and Sarah.

In Leah's cars, the only Being who could work a change of heart in the husband and that will be permanent is The Almighty who knew she was not loved. Obviously, Laban could do nothing about this issue probably because of culture. Another person that would have helped speak to Jacob and that he would listen is Rebeccah his mother and she is far away where she cannot intervened.

The only person that could help her is the God of Israel. Obviously, the husband had not taught her about the God of his fathers. So.she kept on trying all means to get her her husband's attention. When she noticed non was working, she resolve to her fate and turned.her love to God. This she did by naming her four son Judah- now l will praise the LORD.

As believers, God must be our first source of help in any situation. When we cry out to.God, our Father first, then He will raise all the other helpers we need. There will be challenges in marraige just as there are challenges in life but with the help of our Father we will.surely prevail.

PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! ALWAYS FOR YOUR SPOUSE

We have observed that when you continually pray for a person, your heart is favourable disposed to them. Naturally, you develop good feelings for the man, woman and child you pray for. There are some set of children in my street . Normally, l go to their house and teach them the scriptures. But l notice anytime, l see them on the street, my heart swells with joy and l greet them with greet happiness. That is the power of prayers.

The partner you pray for regularly, will always have a special place in your life. I remember what my former boss usually say. She would say " anytime l am making my husband meals, l would pray in tongues and proclaim my husband will always love me, that l will always find favour in his sight, l will only do him good all the days of his life and not him, he will always have confiden e in me. ( I added my own prayer point to hers)

Our LORD Jesus Christ said ' that the people of this world are wise in their generations. An unbelieving woman will go to an herbalist and ask for a love charm. Though, the herbalist knows nothing about the demonic world excerpt what he watches feo. Television, he will give a charm and tell her to put into her husband's food and sp ak what she wants her husband to do for her.

We have established that most of the things the Enemy does, he copied from God. He is not given the ability to create anything new. It is only man and God that has the ability to create anything new in the World.

Moreso, the Bible says with the heart you believe while with your mouth confession is made unto salvation

You desire that your husband should always love you and your home happy. Then you pray and believer it, then you must take the last step and make the right confessions to this prayers.

Even if the man is misbehaving, you must keep your confession intact, because with time if you do not doubt, the Holy Spirit will create you confession into reality.

The Bible says the mouth of the Lord has spoke it and His Spirit ( zeal) will bring it to past or perform it.

SAY IT EVEN IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT

Many person would say, l can't say what l don't believe yet the Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing again. One way to build your faith for any matter is to speak aloud what you believe about that matter.

A man who speaks continually about his fear of road accident will surely build a stronghold of fear for the same and it is only a matter of time before he/she s involved in one.

You must learn to say l love you, l appreciate you, you are a source of huge blessing to my life, you are a gift from God to me, l will always love you to your spouse even if you don't feel as it at that time

It is not hypocrisy, rather you are speaking what you believe to be the truth even if you don't feel like it at that time

A man/woman is ensnared by their words. I'd you speak such godly words that is what you will surely see. But if you chose to speak the otherwise that is what you will.also.see.

Happiness is our right as believers, we only need to learn how to access it. Apostle Peter was locked up in prison and he chose to sleep instead of crying or weeping at his negative lot. Paul and Silas were in prison and they chose to sing Psalms and spiritual songs to the God who can deliver them.

Happiness is a choice. Many factors would arise to make you unhappy always chose to be happy.

Only say what you want to see in the life of your spouse. You may not believe it at first but later you will start to believe it . Because saying it over and over again builds a stri ghold in your mind m

DO WHAT YOU DID AT THE BEGINING.

There was nothing Leah could about her marriage because the foundation of the marriage was very wrong and the Bible says if the foundation is destroyed what kind the righteous do. The only help was the intervention of the Almighty.

But if your relationship started on the right foundation, always ask your spouse what he/she likes even in loving making. Then consciously, deliberately continue to do with the help of the Holy Spirit

Marriage relationship is not ordained for divorce by God. It is meant to be a source of help to two persons while they are fulfilling their God"s given mandate of been fruitful and multupling and replenishing the Earth.

You are in that relationship to be a source of joy and happiness to another person but on a more intimate level. NGO go to community that needs help and offer assistance without expecting a reward from the people they helped.

Likewise Marriage is a place where the Golden rule I'd obeyed fully. You do to your spouse as you want him to do to you. Woman, no matter who your husband is, you must always make him look big in public and privately. Pleasing your spouse should be your number 1 vision in the home.

A man/ woman that is pleased at home will see no need for adultery excerpt fleshly and demonically induced.

You must find out what makes him/her happy and do it. God rewards you when you bring joy and happiness to any man/ woman created in His image and likeness. You are bring joy to Him.

The Bible spoke of our LORD Jesus Christ in Acts 10:38

how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

Chapter One C

My heart full of warmth, sizzling current streaming within and without me

I looked at my beloved :And l thought Forever till death do us apart

I will ejaculate every waking moments in your hands filled with esctaay that you are mine forever!

I breathed in more slowly wanting to take all of him into me as l held his hands a little firmly

My thoughts would be ' how to make you happy for the rest of your life

My dreams of you is always you at the top of your game, you becoming the Best the Creator ordained

My joy is formed when joy fills your realm

We become one today as the Creator has ordained

What is mine is yours! what is yours has become mine this day on

No more Me but you in Me

No more You but me in You

Us made into ONE

Us formed for More

We United in All forever

My beloved!

See, how my Love will blanket you all your days.

Our DNA in our unborn, Is the proof that we have been made ONE this day!

What an ethereal whit

We are One, no one can break us apart!

You and l cannot be separated :Just as what is me in our child cannot be removed from what is you!

Unison beyond human reasoning

Unfathomable ONENESS

Was all l was thinking

When the Priest echoed

" I now pronounced you husband and wife

What God has joined together: Let no being put asunder

Asunder! fly away to Netherland

When there are issues we need to resolve

Asunder! hide your hideous face when we longer say ' I love as often as we should

Asunder! we bade you a stranger in our presence

When the love making becomes a routine: An obligation that is used to relieve tension

No! No! Asunder you are not permitted

When my beloved husband's loves me more than the in-law envisaged.

Let no being put asunder is what we command

When my ears may hear ' Z ' when my precious husband says 'A',

Oh my Maker: Pls my Maker

Remember your Son, Jesus Christ and His finished work for my joy

Remember He died that l might enjoy all the blissfulness of your presence!

Remember, pls don't forget

For your Son, Jesus Christ submitted to you willingly though He is God as you are

Help me to submit willing to my beloved

When the success and applauds may want to make me forget you made my beloved husband my Head

My husband as my Leader is not a meritous honour : You bequeathed it to him just as your Son submitted to you to fulfill His mission on Earth

Let Christ always be set before me when the flow of your anointing caused all men and women to want to worship at my Feet

My beloved husband; oh my precious Stone

May my heart always be sizzling with fondness as l wake moment by moment by your side

May my body always be on fire and eagle to touch the handsomeness before ma as l gaze at your nakedness

May my mind be filled with adoration, no matter how little and how great your achievements

May my heart and my touch never gaze lustfully at another

But let my love always be for you!

LORD give me more

Much more than this with my beloved husband

Whom you have given me as a gift all lifelong!

Hephzibah Abigail

InSpired

THE WIFE: SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR HER HUSBAND

Yesterday, I started a study on the roles played by women in the Bible. Of course, I started from the very pages where Womanhood started- Genesis 1-3.

A woman called Eve had such a unique privilege in the beginning- she was created as a helper, companion, intimate part of a man.

The bible recorded that when Adam saw and received Eve for the first time, he exclaimed, meaning his reaction was not normal.

My interpretation of his reaction is he shouted with excitement like Isaac was excited when he first saw Rebecca. Adam was so elated that he declared this is 'now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman'.

God made the man and woman partners; Satan brought dis-unity, resulting in the man been made lord over the woman..

I have always wondered and asked why the man was made master over the woman. Always I justified God's reason as wanting to establish order in the human relationship esp marriage.

But this morning, I realized that the man became master because of Eve's rash independent action.

She made a decision that affected her family and the entire human race without consulting with her partner in purpose- Adam.

Eve took the decision to eat the forbidden fruit and even ate it before she informed Adam. And the way the Bible recorded it, she did not asked for his opinion, rather she gave him with the unspoken command, 'eat' I ate it too.

He was not coerced rather he ate it because obviously he had got to a point in their relationship when he rated pleasing her higher than pleasing God.

So I guess God apply one of the principles of crisis management (eradicate or minimize the cause of crisis) He brought the voting power of the wife under the authority of the man.

God was fair in His judgment, he could have chosen to make the woman the enemy of the man as he did with the serpent.

Sincerely, before this morning, I accepted the command of submission by the wife to her man by faith. I though it was tough to subject the destiny of one woman to husband.

Today, I support God' decision and verdict in Genesis 3 with my whole heart and proclaim with Apostle Paul and Peter

" Woman, submit to the authority of your husband because God commanded it and its for the best.

Willing submission makes your home beautiful, it breeds and boost unity, it check-mate the enemy at the gate.

It ensure sound decisions. Sometimes Its so easy to deceive one but it takes extra efforts to deceive two.

Logic and emotion are twin needed in any sound relationship, they are lubricants for blissful marriage.

Partnership in business is about sharing ideas and resources. The bible says in multiple of counsels there is safety. Consulting in business venture is a growth booster because it allows for concrete and concise decisions.

Likewise wives and husbands consulting each other in every area of life is a mutual benefit insurance policy.

Singles, I pray you will not make marital decisions based on appearance, financial status and even spiritual charisma which is okay on itself but should not be the priority.

Pls. note that marriage can only succeed when you put into practice God' principle for blissful home- submission and love.

These two virtues are the basis of our relationship with God- God loves us and we submit to him. God's love is enjoyed when we submit to him.

To the married, who may be having challenges in their marriage, don't give up. Christ said repeatedly in Revelation 2-3, it is only Over-comers who will have a place in his kingdom.

If you give up in your present relationship because of challenges and accept failure, you have only equipped yourself with arsenal and negative testimony for your next relationship.

Consciously and sometimes in pain apply the ingredient of submission and unconditional love coupled with faith and patience.

Abraham only received what was promised by faith and patience. Thank God for the power of faith but in most cases faith works best when we apply patience.

I really pray a time will come when inequality in leadership between husbands and wives will completely disappear. But sincerely I doubt if that prayer will be answered. Because the God who rules all things by the power of His word who made it so.

Today, I fully support the assertion of Nollywood actress Omotola J. she said in an interview in Punch that she does not believe in equality between husbands and wives.

Husbands are the leaders and I am not ashamed to say boldly and proudly that wives are the followers. Its so beautiful to follow a man who is under the control of the Holy Spirit and God' word.

Its like soaring on the wings of grace; only God can stop you and He will not because He loves you and He desire the best for you.

Once, thanks for reading, hope you were blessed.

A.L. Hephzibah

InSpired

A MOVEMENT THAT MAY GO WRONG;.

An impression has been persistent in my thoughts from the early hours of today. I have tried to dodge it but it became a burden..

Even now, l can't really grasp it's content but l will make an attempt to put it on page, l pray God will inspire others to write about it in details.

The Bible is a beautiful Book of eternal truths but once in a while you encounter statements as written in Genesis 3:16 and you take a pause to allow deep meditations.

." I'll multiply your pains in Childbirth,... You'll want to please your husband but he'll Lord it over you" Gen. 3:16 MSG

" And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you" NLT

I am assuming some religion form their ideology of women are to 'seen but not heard' from these scriptures.

The Feminism movement of various shape were birthed as a stance of rebellion to this curse, The ideal feminist assert " l am a unique creation and equal to any male folk, therefore has equal right as them in all things.

Female homosexuality also may be traced to this fact of a woman not wanting to submit to a man.

Then Christ paid the ultimate price and liberated humanity from the grasp of the adversary and curse of the law.

I believe and l know it's the truth, that it is only in Christ that a woman is treated with true dignity and respect and is really free to be a creator of beauty as God originally intended.

Other religions make an attempt to elevate womanhood like stipulating they don't work while their husbands work, like the supremacy of the maternal side instead of the paternal as is done in some cultures.

All these cultural and religion practices attempt to promote treating the woman with kindness but not entirely successful at this attempt.

Any sensible woman will tell you, one of her greatest fear is her friend, confidant, lover, husband giving or sharing his love with another woman. ( And this is the practices of some of these religions)

The Bible stipulates that one man to one wife is God's standard and order. Infidelity is an abnormal in the Christian faith.

The Kingdom Of Christ truly beautifies the female with so much love, kindness and they are rightly tagged ' the weaker vessel so that the male will treat them with care and love.

Some persons believe that the curse of the woman serving the man relegated the woman to the role of house chores and generally caring for the welfare of her home and family (Though, l beg to disagree on this conclusion).

In 1 Corinthians 12 from verse one, each believer is given a gift based on their assignment in the Kingdom (l have reasoned that the believer' s personality too would be a reflection of his or her assignment)

Likewise, the woman is created by God with a peculiar design based on her roles etc. Therefore she is configured by God to be the major care-giver in the home- Her natural endowment prepared her for this beautiful unique role.

The curse pronounced on Eve and her seed in Genesis 3:16 is cancelled for any woman who believes in Christ as Lord and Saviour. So,

her husband is no longer her master, rather he is her friend, her confidant, her lover just as Christ is our friend and redeemer.

The Bible in Ephesians 5 commands that husband love their wives as Christ loved the church. The scripture also shows how husbands are to relate to their wives, not as masters but as friends.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:22-28

But, the woman must note that God in His infinite wisdom has designed an order for the smooth operation of His Kingdom.

The woman is designed by God to submit to her husband as the Church is subjected to Christ.

It means as a woman, you must study the features of the Church submission to Christ to understand the extent of your submission to your husband

Joyce Meyer said in one of her messages that some women find it easier to submit to their pastor than to their husbands. They would prefer to tell their pastors about their life plans rather than their husbands.

They accord more respect to their pastors than their spouse.

She advised that woman should give to their husbands at all times, the same treatment they give to their pastor in Church, for your husband is your NO. 1 (number one) spiritual leader after the Holy Spirit.

After God, your husband is your most important 'Client'

Philippians 2:5-9

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him"

Apostle Paul in 1 Cor. 11

Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.

Yet, we must follow the example of Christ in all things and Christ says " the woman should be submissive to her husband as the Church is subjected to Christ.

The unmarried should not wait till after the wedding night to read about submission and marriage dynamics.

Also, the unmarried can gain experience by attaching herself to married couples and offer free services as a volunteer in their homes.

It's better to learn by the Word than by just experience.

Chapter 2

KEEPING LOVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

The first and second question this inspired write-up will attempt to answer is:

1. Does God created mankind to enjoy happiness?

2. Can a Believer live a life that is free of sorrow, can your marriage and family always be filled with happiness?

Human emotion is potent and one of the most powerful tool that affects the direction of a man's decision. (Man is used as a genders inclusive term)

Research reveals the male tends to make decisions based on logic while female are geared to make decisions based on high and low feelings.

There are practical implications of the above statements. A female may make a decision to buy a dress based on if there is excitment or sadness in her emotion. She saw it, admired it and it's in her wardrobe, though it may be wore three times and never wore again.

On the other hand; a man will buy a piece of clothing based on logic:

-do l need this clothing or not?

- What purpose will it serve in my collection.?

-Will this sets of clothings earn the admiration of my friends?,

These are some of the deciding factors for the man

He is buying the clothing with his logic while the lady make purchases decision from the perspective of how she feels.

Whenever a lady is excited; she may ended buying more clothing than she needs but most men will rarely do this excerpt when on a spending spree

A woman would readily say ' l love you to her spouse and child when she is filled with high positive feelings and may rarely say; l love you when she is feeling sad and down in her emotions.

A male is expected to say 'l love you either he feels good or bad about it. If saying " I love you to a female will earn him higher points in her heart, he will readily say it. ( We speak from a pure Christian perspective for we know that a lady may say " I love to a male to manipulate him and gain access to his pocket)

It shows that the man operates from the mind; the faculty of reasoning.

REASONING

Rational thinking (or the capacity for it); the cognitive faculties, collectively, of conception, judgment, deduction and intuition.

EMOTIONS

A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data.

Reasoning is based on information of data in the mind and a decision of action is only reached when series of information is considered irrespective of the evidence presented by the sensory organs.

Emotions is based on information inpute into the mind through the seasoning organs of seeing, touching, hearing, feelings etc.

Unity is achieved in the home when the male and female combined their strengths and weaknesses. A wife must not continually nags at her husband for been emotionless and the husband should never rebuke the wife for her inability to think thoroughly on any issue.

Rather by the power of The Holy Spirit, the male must learn to express the emotions in His heart to his wife and the wife must learn to think thoroughly on any issue before making a decision or speaking.

Every marriage relationship needs the input of emotions and logic to survival but they need more especially the Voice of the Holy Spirit to strive as a couple.

Chapter Three

THE POWER OF YOUR WORD WORDS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Words are life. They either bring God'snlife into your marriage and the life of your spouse and children or bring the death from the Enemy into the marriage .

Nothing kills love faster in the heart and happiness in the home than ungracious and unkind words. It can ruin the heart and destroy the strengths of a person.

The ranger if unkind words have s that it can renainvlodged in the memory of your spouse for a L Fe time.

The daughter of Jing Saul loved David her husband just as the soul of Jonathan cleaved to the same David m she deferred her father's order by keeping the live of David safe.

And David loved her so much too. After he became king over Judah and Israel, he asked that Michael be taken from the man she was living with because King David told the people of Benjamin to restore to him his wife.

Obviously David loved her to make this kind of request. But words that hurt, words that were not anointed with grace shut the womb of Micah and of course shut the door to any intimacy between her and her husband.

Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it . But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Paltiel son of Laish, who was from Gallim. Sam. 18:20

But it got to a point where that love turned to hatred and Michael rebuked and tried to correct her husband in public. Those ungracious word were that cause of her barrenness throughout her lifetime.

InSpired

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE WIFE; RESPECT AND HONOUR!

The Spirit of Revelation and Wisdom transists the faculty of human reasoning and opens a Believer to the mind and thoughts of The Father concerning any issue on earth. This is the basis of the scripture ' Thy Will be done on the Earth as it is in Heaven'

We are citizens of Heaven living on The Earth . Though you have dual citizenship, one must learn to subject your actions and decisions to the constitutions of Heaven.as contained in the Word of God.

Sometimes, The Spirit will allow a writer to write from personal experiences.

But at other times, a writer is instructed to write strictly from biblical perspectives without any input from personal experiences.

It is the Spirit of Christ and the Church is called the Church of Christ, therefore ,The Holy Spirit has the sole prerogative to determine how He wants His truth communicated to His Church.

God uses the relationship between the husband and wife to demonstrate the kind of love relationship that exist between Christ and his Bride. (the Church.)

The Church must honour and respect Christ,; follow His lead in all things and wait for His directive, just as Christ followed the lead of his Father and waited on His directive.

Christ said ' I can of myself do nothing but l carry out the Will of the Father in all l do.

This is the foundation for a godly relationship between a man and his wife: ' Husbands love, Wives submit by respect and honour'

Beautiful Daughter of Zion, God your Father says to you concerning your Husband

'Respect him, follow his lead, wait for God to speak to him before making major decisions that concern the family.

LIKELY QUESTION FROM THE WIFE

What if my husband is not available and l need to make a crucial decision that affects the family?

The Holy Spirit dwells inside of you and if you have established.the platform of respect and honour' in your home, God will surely show up with His wisdom for you.

God speaks to His children and will always confirms His will on any issue. Because the husband and wife has become one; what God says to the husband, He would confirm to his wife.

It is like the relationship that exist because Christ and His Father while on earth. Philippians 2:6-7 says ' though Christ was God, He did not consider equality with God, something to be used to his own advantage, rather humbled Himself....

If there is any discrepancy in what a couple treceived from the LORD, then they both should wait because God is a Father who confirms His word over and over again.

Chapter Four

ME FIRST

DISEASE....

👉👉🕺👈🏾👈🏾

Selfishness is the cornerstone of every kind of evil under the Sun; the son offering his mother for money rituals, the husband, leaving his wife for a younger woman, the woman cheating on her husband to get money to sponsor her lavish lifestyle, the politician climbing on the back of his Constituency to get to power and then squander the resources meant for all on “SELF’ are all instances of the ‘ME FIRST’ syndrome walking boldly in the streets of Human behaviour.

Every man has selfishness inbuilt in their system; it is part of the fallen man’s configuration:

Self preservation is the rebranding of selfishness- ‘a man got to look out for himself.’ Some Christian folks hide under the umbrella of scripture like-‘love you neighbour as thyself’ meaning you can’t afford to love another more than yourself, so ‘ME FIRST’ is official and legitimate.

But Jesus, a man of like passion left all his glory and died a death of shame and humiliation to ensure every man has access to free health, peace, prosperity and eternal glory and no government in the World has been able to bring up either policies or initiatives to match Jesus’ s free health and prosperity policy for all.

Selfishness is responsible for the politician’s greed to amass money to ‘self’ while those who got him elected die in penury.

Selfishness is the root of the preacher creed of sow you widow’s mint and enter into the season of abundance, while the widow leaves the presence of God sad with no visible hope of getting her next meal. They take from the poor to enrich their purses and live lavishly, intermittently giving to the poor at their own convenient.

But we must know the Creator never intended humanity to be wrapped in the determined grip of “ME FIRST’.

The original plan of the Creator is ‘MUTUALISM’ we all look upward to the Creator; and we all look -out for one another.

We are ordained to be our ‘Brother’s keeper’

So when the first son in the First Family killed his brother, the Creator was shocked when Cain responded to His questioning of “Where is your Brother” was “Am I my brother’s keeper” That was Cain’s retort to his benefactor, the Almighty.

Your brother’s keeper: I made you: I never made you for yourself; that is why I had to make the first man from the dust with my Life in him and the first woman taken out of the man.

I was showing mankind that ÿou will need others to survive on earth. You need others to become all I want you to be.

Think about this, what will make this particular creature stir up rebellion against his Creator if not the ‘ME FIRST syndrome.’

This creature was described in Ezekiel 28:13-15, “You were in Eden, the garden of God.

Your clothing was adorned with every precious stone—red carnelian, pale-green peridot, white moonstone, blue-green beryl, onyx, green jasper, blue lapis lazuli, turquoise, and emerald—all beautifully crafted for you and set in the finest gold.

They were given to you on the day you were created. I ordained and anointed you as the mighty angelic guardian. You had access to the holy mountain of God and walked among the stones of fire.”

He was created with every precious stone available and His purpose was to be a guardian Cherub, he was not created for any other purpose. He had direct access to The Creator because of the privilege of His purpose.

Then ‘ME FIRST disease plagued his heart and till date, whole humanity is swallowed by unprecedented wickedness, breed and nurtured by selfishness.

Isaiah 14:11-15 “Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee.

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

The ‘ME FIRST’ syndrome is responsible for every war that has ever happened on Planet Earth, from First to Second World War and if there is going to be Third War; it will be as a result of ‘ME FIRST’.

A man/woman wakes up someday and looks at their spouse and then declares ‘ï no longer love you’; then leaves that marriage broken in pains and sorrow. Don’t look too far; it is the ‘ME FIRST’ syndrome.

‘ME FIRST’ will make an assistant pastor suddenly realised that he is more popular and anointed than the Senior Pastor, who gave him the opportunity to be exposed in the first instance and such will run off to start his own ministry forgetting that we are not called into ministry to make money for SELF, to make name for SELF, rather we are in ministry to lift up CHRIST for the World to see.

And either you are the head of the Ship or a co-pilot, or a passenger in the Ship, or a cabin boy in the Ship, the most important factor is the Ship is cruising on the highway of th Sea and has a destination which is the focus of everyone in it.

'I am not selfish,' you tell yourself. Truly, I agree with you that you are not selfish, that was what I told myself until the parakletos called the Holy Spirit told me gently but resolutely, ‘Child, you, like most is certainly suffering from the ‘ME FIRST’ disease.

Chapter Five

WHY WILL A.BELIEVER COMMIT ADULTERY? BECAUSE HE/SHE WANT TO DO SO!

Have you ever seen a car driving at top speed and then decide to jump in it front and believe it will n noot kill you?

Have you ever seen a flowing river and in your rightful mind decide to jump into the river?

You only take the above decisions because you are either insane or you are under the I fluenve and control of wicked forces that compelled you to carry out such actions.

Why did Adam.and Eve forsook their Husband, The Almighty and yielded to the suggestions or Satan the evil one?

They did so because they wanted to do so. God who was their Creator, and Husband ( Isaiah 54) gave them all they needed for their enjoyment and would have given them more if they had asked. Him.

If they were not sure of the instructions He have them; He would have repeated it to them.

They became unfaithful to God their husband ( Isaiah 54) because they wanted to and not because Satan forced them. As long as you feel you cannot help yourself but sin and disobey God, then you will never be victorious.

Tour deli erancr starts from a decision to do the right thing and then the Holy Spirit will empower you and help you to execute it.

Why did King David fell into.afultery with Bethsheba?

God gave King David, the throne of his master; King Saul. He had three wives and could marry any virgin in Israel. God never complained that He had more than one wife though our LORD Jesus.Chtiat as tipulayrd that a Man should have only One wife. Moreso God established this order when.he brought only one woman called Eve to Adam.

Yet, King David of blessed memory had three wives and still went into adultery. This fateful day, God di all within His power to stop King David from the grievous sin.

1. The woman just finished her menstruating and was performing the purification rites

2. She was the wife of the son of one of Jing David's valued counsellor- Ahitophel

3. This man was a faithful shoulder who was involved in the battle that king David was anointed to fight yet he stayed.at home.

So King David became u faithful firstly to his heavenly husband before he could commit the sin of adultery.

He could say No but crying out to God for help. It decided to say Yes.

God did everything humanly possible to stop King David but David was not sensitive.

Your mind is very powerful and intends to walk in the directions of your thoughts and decision..

Chapter Six

SHEILD YOUR HOME FROM THE STRANGER

The Home is the Most important place for wholistuc develipme t of every individual in the Society.

It is the smallest u it of the various I stitutio s in the Society.

It is the first point of human development for every child who later metamorphosis into adults that I cupy key positions I. The Society who determine the direction of the Human race.

So the family unit is very crucial to both the Kingdom of Light and the Kids ngdom of darkness. The two most important oakyers in the family unit is the Husband and his wife. This two are together before their unity results the birth of children .

Therefore anything that will affect the family is very important to God and man. It is not every marraige that is involved in adultery and it is certain Believers can have a beautiful wedding day without fear of abandmrent

Divorce and getting separation from your spousr after a few years of marraige it now the norm in the society and even in the Kingdom.

KEYS FOR KEEPING THE STRANGE WOMAN OUT

.We must realise hat as long as you are human, you are prior to mistake. But we have a God who never fails and who can keep all things entrusted in His hand.

He was the one who ordained the Marraige relationship because it was a prototype of the relationship He ordained and planned for the human race especially those who will accept His Son Jesus Christ as LORD and Saviour and be ultimately rebirth as His sons and daughter

God ordained marraige to demonstrate the love relationship between man and Him God as our Father. In various part of the Old Testament God identified Himself as the husband of the nation of Israel and related with Israel as a husband would relate with His wife

Ironically, Israel who was the bride of God the husband were unfaithful to God in various Instances. Just as a man and woman can yield to the lure of strange men and women so Israel, God' s beloved became unfaithful to God their husband and yeulded to strange gods.

Some Israel king took their adulterous act to a heightened level by building altars to idols and strange God in the temple that they dedicated to The Almighty .

The temple built to honour the Name of God alone is like the Marraige bed of a husband and his wife; the offering of sacrifices to this strange gods in the same temple that was dedicated to God is like a married woman or man bring a strange man/woman into the Marraige covenant they I tired and enters with their spouse

Thereforw to understand how to keep the strange women/man out of your marraige, we must return to the author of the Marraige relationship and believe Him to give His precious counsel and Insight in this issue.

It is because of the above that our LORD Jesus Christ calls the Church, the Body of Christ which includes every believer His bride and called Himself the Bridegroom.

In Ephesians 5, The Word of God commanded that Husbands should love his wife as Christ live the Church and the Wife should submit to the husband as The Church submit to Christ.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Chapter Seven

IS ABSOLUTE FIDELITY POSSIBLE IN CHRISTIAN MARRAIGE?

Fidelity in marraige is the act whereby a man/ woman remains true and faithful to a legal marraige partner for the rest of their life.

Fidelity entails that the man/ woman honours the Marraige covenant contracted on the wedding day and cinsumated with blood and nakedness on the wedding night.

When occultic men and women iniitiates and enter into covenants , it is more potent when it involves blood and when done utterly naked. Nakedness symbolises death.and emptiness; it symbolises that you return to how you were born - empty when you break the terms of the covenants.

Job mentioned this in Job 1:20

"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.'

Occultic covenants differ from one Occultic group to the other. But the most extreme covenants always symbolises that defaulters return to the state in which they entered the earth which is nake and empty.

This is why members of occultic groups find it extremely difficult to leave this evil societies because of the grievous consequences suffers. It is only the power of God that can deliver men and women who receive Christ and desire to such groups.

The Marraige covenant is stronger than any other covenants even Occultic covenants. It is the covenant that is Instituted by God for the continuity of His creation. therefore God is a personal witness to this union especially that of His children..

It means if a husband becomes unfaithful to his marraige vows and the wife calls on God who was a witness and reports the unfaithfulness of her husband, that man will be punished by the Justice system of the Almighty.

God has this to say about unfaithfulness in marriage relationship: "Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.

You ask, “Why?” IT is BECAUSE THE LORD IS THE WITNESS BETWEEN YOU AND THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH.

You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.

So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

“The man who hates and divorces his wife, ” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty.

So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. Malachi 2:13-15.

God is highly interested in the Marraige relationship because of its importance.

Originally, a man is not created to became unfaithful to His wife just as God cannot be unfaithful to His people and His children.

Man is created in the image of God and also had the nature of God before the fall and alliance with Satan and the sinful nature.

Man is created with the capacity to love His wife just as God love His people. Yahweh will do anything and everything to please His children and make them happy.

Also, Man has the ability and capacity to care for, nurture the woman called his wife exactly as God the Father.

The man in the Marraige relationship is the a prototype of God's relationship with His people. A husband bears the same title as God- God is called the husband of Israel His people while the man is the husband of his wife.

“In that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master." Hosea 2:16

Isaiah 54:5

For your Maker is your husband —

the LORD Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

So just as God cares for His children, defend them, provide for them, make them happy, the man is given inbuilt capacity to take care of his wife in the same dimension as God.

The woman on the other hand is supposed to response to the care given by the man and honour and respect him just as the children of God honours and respect God for His kindness and goodness to his children.

This is where Adam failed Eve in the Garden of Eden. Truly, Satan came to the person that he knew needed persuasion probably because he knew that if he could persuade the woman; then the man will yield to the woman because of his love for her.

Man lost the ability and capabilities to love his wife as God love his children because of the fall which brought the Satanic nature of unfaithfulness and betrayal to mankind.

So we see a new nature in man, a nature that is concern with self; a nature that is different from the nature of God; a nature that is selfish and seeks to hurt the other in bid of self gratification. Man lost the nature of God and replace it with the nature of the devil also called the sinful nature

The sinful nature is a nature that rebels against God and His ways.

Therefore a man can only be faithful to his partner and love them as God loves His children when they have the nature of God again

The nature of God is given to every Believer in Christ when we gave our hearts to Jesus.Christ.

Therefore every believer both male and female has the capacity and ability to remain faithful to their marraige partner for life by the Life and power of The Christ AVALIABLE in The Holy Spirit who dwells in the Believer.

WHY THEN ARE BELIEVERS - WIVES AND HUSBANDS INVOLVED IN INFIDELITY AND DIVOURCE?

Chapter Eight

PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY SOLUTIONS IN YOUR MARRAIGE?

Unbelievers use the weapons of thinking, reasoning and counsels from friends, families, marraige therapists, coaches and psychologists to try to resolve issues in their marraiges. The result of this strategy is a fast increase in the divorce rate in these marraiges..

Some employ the aid of wisdom gleaned from reading books and watching tons of movies and films to solve problems. Some Africans visit herbalists, sorcerer's etc to seek for solution.

When a Christian woman or man have any kind of challenge in their lives and homes; they must first turn to God in their hearts; then the Holy Spirit will give the appropriate strategy to use to solve these problems.

Unless you can identify the accurate source of a problem, you may not be able to get adequate solution for it. You may either get a relieve from a toothache or have the bad tooth removed. The difference is that one remedy is permanent cure while the other is a temporary relieve. Most people get relieves from challenges and not secure a permanent victory that prevent recurrences.

The Father who dwells in the Heart of every believer by the Spirit of Jesus Christ is an ALL KNOWING GOD.

He is the SOURCE of all wisdom. He will not only identify the source of the problem but will proffer the right solution. The Bible says " every good and perfect gifts is from the LORD; whatever the LORD does is forever and the Holy Spirit is called The Counsellor. The Spirit counsel can never fail.

Let's take for example, a woman noticed that her husband returns home late than his usual time. And coupled with this is the fact that when he returns home; he withdrawns to himself. He still communicates with her but not with his usually excitement'.

A suspicious wife who developed the mindset of suspicion from watching films may believe and conclude her husband is having an affair. And begin the futile ministry of searching his phone and internet activities. Thus officially giving the authority to bring a demon of unfaithfulness into the life of her spouse. Now, the man has an additional burden, a spirit of infidelty assaulting his mind and thoughts.

A careless wife would shrub off these obeservations given to her by the Holy Spirit and instead turn to logical reasoning:

"it's one of those things; he will shake out of it. I have enough challenge with the children and keeping the home, l don't have time to care for a grown- up baby"

An emotional unspiritual wife who uses emotions and sex to get her husband to do her bidding will use caressing and speak with tenderness to him to try to get him to speak.

If the issue has to do with a failure in any area of the man's life or a difficult problem in the office/ his personal life, the ego of the man may prevent him from opening up especially if he had always played the role of the superman to his wife. ( Alot of married couple do not attain the level of intimacy that allows long term bliss in the marraige)

So the man will momentarily response to the wife's attempt of seduction and sincerely enjoy her presence but after the good loving making, the problem remains. Sex may relax the man so that he can think more easily but most times, the problem does not go away, it remains. It is termed 'Sex' if you use your love making to your husband to get something from him, it is called loving making when it is an act of love for mutual pleasure.

But a Christian wife must train herself to always communicate with God first before communicating with man. Issues don't always seem as they appear because appearance God says is deceitful.

Moreso, the strategy used to solve a problem today may not be an effective one tomorrow. When your husband was sad in the past, you used the instrument of nagging, sex, petting and comfort to make him happy. It is not certain that any of these weapons will solve the problem the next time it arises.

A believing wife have the advantage of God's Spirit in their inner man and God's word in their heart. Man cannot handle the unseen invisible world, God created the visible and invisible world, He can help out when we call on Him.

He is the founder and sustainer of families on Earth especially the Christian families that are His treasured possession in the World. He always wants to help, it gives him pleasure when He helps. He is a loving Father and our Everlasting High Priest; Jesus Christ ( may His name be praised forever and may His glory filled the Earth and our homes) is gentle and understands what you are going through. He wants you to enjoy the love and peace he purchased with His blood just for you.

We must always call in Him first, then He will lead you on the best path always

May our homes and families be filled with His love, mercy, favour and glory in Jesus Name

Chapter Nine

DONT SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF YOUR MARRIAGE THIS WAY!

Life is full of challenges; there will be issues that are difficult for you to solve by yourself and you may need external helps.

Christian marraiges don't experience challenges because God is not powerful enough and anything is difficult for Him. It is just that every believer lives in a world and earth that has been made imperfect and filled with wickedness by imperfect men and women who are also under the control of Satan; the Evil one.

Therefore the meat from the cow that is supposed to give vital nutrient to your body, researchers inform you to stay off meat because it can bring disease to your heart. The things created by God for the good of mankind has been made imperfect and harmful to man.

Sarah was a beautiful woman who married step- brother: Abraham. At that time getting married to your step brother in the cultural where God called Abraham from was not wrong; it was a part of their cultural.

Sarah already had the challenge of barreness before her husband encountered the God of the Heaven and the Earth.God called Abraham at age 75 and that makes Sarah to be 65years of age. So at 65 years, Sarah had no child.

The childless of Abraham and Sarah was not caused by God, it was as a result of elements from the couple's background. But now they had met the God of the Heavens and the Earth, God promised Abraham that their problems would be solved; for they will have a son.

God made Abraham rich in silver and gold and gave him riches that could feed 318 servants and their families. And then gave the promise of a child, so all the couple had to do was wait for God the promise- keeper who made them rich.

But we know that the Enemy will always wait to bring his counterfeit to every promise of God as he did in the Garden of Eden.

Satan does not know all things, he dies not know what promises God gives to you excerpt he accept this revelation from you. Once he knows, his next strategy is to try to steal it by presenting his own counterfeit or mounting up opposition against this the fulfillment of this promise. The Enemy specialises in stealing any promise of God you do not believe.

In the parable of the Sower, the devil stole the seed fell by the road side. This Seed by the road side means that the word sown did not enter the hearts of the hearers because they either understand it or believed it

God gave the promise of a child, to Abraham and Sarah. Sarah obviously did not believe it; so Satan attempted to steal it. God, the Elshaddai told Abraham he would have a son in Genesis 15. At that time, Abraham had only one wife: Sarah. So if God promised Abraham a child it was through Sarah his wife.

But we see in Genesis 16 that Sarah told Abraham to slept with her servant; Haggai so that she (Sarah ) can have a child through Haggai.

This revelation and instruction from Sarah to Abraham was not from the Spirit of God, it was the cultural of the nations around who did not know the God.

Sarah invited a strange woman to help solve a problem that God had promised to bring a solution. Sarah did not believe in the promise of God and therefore used the arm of flesh to solve her problem. Her solution to her problem become a bigger problem to her.

It took the intervention of The same God who promised in the first place to bring lasting solutions. God told Abraham to listen to his wife and drive away Haggai with her son. When Sarah had the challenge with Haggai, she did not turn to The God of her husband rather she again used the arm of flesh to try to solve her problem. She began to maltreat Haggai and accused her husband as been the cause of her problem.

Chapter Ten

HOW TO HANFLE CHALLENGES IN YOUR MARRAIGE.

Unbelievers use the weapons of thinking, reasoning and counsels from friends, families and psychologist to try to resolve this issues.

Some employ the aid of wisdom gleaned from reading books and watching tons of movies and films to solve problems. Some Africans visit herbalists, sorcerer's etc to seek for solution.

When a Christian woman or man have any kind of challenge in their lives and homes; they must first turn to God in their hearts; then the Holy Spirit will give the strategy to use to solve these problems.

Unless you can identify the accurate source of a problem you may not be able to get adequate solution to it. You may either get relieve from a toothache or have the bad tooth removed. The difference is that one remedy is permanent cure while the other is a temporary relieve.

The Father who dwells in the Heart of every believer via the Spirit of Jesus Christ is an ALL KNOWING GOD. He is the SOURCE of all wisdom. He will not only identify the source of the problem but will proffer the right solution.

Let's take for example, a woman noticed that her husband returns home late that his usual time. And couple with is the fact that when he returns home he withdrawns to hims of. He still communicates with her but not with his usually excitement.

A suspicious woman who develop the mindset of suspicion from watching filam may conclude her husband is having an affair. Even some Christian woman dont trust their husbands.

A careless woman who shrub off these obeservations given to her by the Holy Spirit and reasons

"it's one of those things; he will shake out of it. I have enough challenge with the children and keeping the home, l don't have time to care for a grown up baby"

A emotional woman who uses emotional and sex to get her husband to do her bidding will carouse him and speak with tenderness to him to try to get him to speak. If the issue has to do with a failure in any area of the man's life or an unsolvable bpriboem at that moment, the ego of the man may prevent him from opening up especially if he had always played the role of the superman to his wife.

So the man will momentarily response to the wife's attempt of seduction and sincerely enjoy her presence but after the good loving making, the problem remains. It may relax the man so that he can think more easily but most times, the problem does not go away, it remains.

But a Christian woman must train herself to always communicate with God first before communicating with man. Issues don't always seem as they appear because appearance God says is deceitful.

Moreso, the strategy used to solve a problem today may not be an effective one tomorrow. Your husband was sad; you used the instrument of nagging, sex, petting and comfort to make him happy. It is not certain that any of these weapons will solve the problem the next time it arises.

Christian woman have the advantage of God's Spirit in their inner man and God's word in their heart. Man cannot handle the unseen invisible word, God created the visible and invisible world, He can help out when we call on it.

He is the founder and sustainer of families on Earth especially the Christian families that are His treasured possession in the World. He always wants to help, it gives him pleasure when He helps. He is a loving Father and our Everlasting High Priest Jesus Christ ( may His name be praised forever and may His glory filled the Earth and our homes) is gentle and understands what you are going through. He wants you to enjoy the love and peace he purchased with His blood just for you.

May our homes and families be filled with His love, mercy, favour and glory in Jesus Name

STRATEGIES EMPLOYED BY THESE WOMEN TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.

Let's examine the examples of two women in the Bible Rachel and Rebeccah.

Incidentally, Sarah, Rebeccah, Rachel are from the same clan and family. Terah was their father, grand father and great grand father.

Also, these three daughters if clan had the same challenge with barrenness : they had delay child birth. Unlike Sarah and Rebecca which the Bible did not state the source of their barrenness, Rachel's barrenness was self induced. She maltreated the first wife of her sister called Leah and thus Leah was unloved. So the Bible stated that when God saw that Leah was unloved God enabled her to have children.

We can rightly deduct that.Gid closed.the womb of Rachel because Jacob her husband asked her ' Am l God that gives children. So this three woman had problem with child birth.

STRATEGIES EMPLOYED BY THESE WOMEN TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.

SARAH

Then the word of the LORD came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir. ” Gen 15:3

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. Gen. 16:1-2

STRATEGIES EMPLOYED BY THESE WOMEN TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.

Let's examine the examples of three women in the Bible Rachel and Rebeccah.

Incidentally, Sarah, Rebeccah, Rachel are from the same clan and family. Terah was their father, grand father and great grand father.

We can rightly deduct that.Gid closed.the womb of Rachel because Jacob her husband asked her ' Am l God that gives children. So this three woman had problem with child birth.

SARAH

Then the word of the LORD came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir. ” Gen 15:3

THREE WOMEN, SAME KIND OF CHALLENGE, THREE DIFFERENT STRATEGIES

A common saying goes thus " There is nothing new under the Sun

Let's examine the lives of three women in the Bible Rachel and Rebeccah.

Incidentally, Sarah, Rebeccah, Rachel are from the same clan and family. Terah was their father, grand father and great grand father.

We can rightly deduct that.Gid closed.the womb of Rachel because Jacob her husband asked her ' Am l God that gives children. So this three woman had problem with child birth.

SARAH- THE WIFE OF ABRAHAM

She was barren for many years and used this strategy to address her barrenness

SARAH'S STRATEGY

1. She accused God of been responsible for her barrenness.

2. She concluded that her problem was permanent.

3. She believed that God and her husband can enable another woman to have what she desired.

4. The strategy she employed to solve her problem failed and backfired.

5. She blames her husband for her poor decision.

6. She caused her husband great grief

7. She brought a stranger into the covenant God intended for her family alone.

'Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar;

so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said.

So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.

Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me.

May the LORD judge between you and me.” “Your slave is in your hands, ” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.”

Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.

WHAT A WIFE IN SARAH' S STATE SHOULD DO

Sincerely waiting for the fulfillments of the promises of God in any area of human endeavour can be painful and some shameful without the help of The Holy Spirit.

Family, friends, and the church family with good intentions have a subtil way of remaining you that that area of your life has a stigma by their voiced.prayers and wishes

" we know God has perfected all that concerns you"

" We are praying for you"

" Satan is a liar'

" You need to work on your faith ooo'

" Don't give up, your miracle is around the corners"

Though this prayers are from a good hearts and with the best intentions, they are gentle reminder that something is wrong with your life and you are the cause of it.

This brings pressure which the Enemy can use to create unnecessary depression and sorrow in your heart.

In the past, anytime anybody reminds me of my single status and that l am of age, l will use a 'bold face ' and tell them

" God makes everything beautiful in its time" Then they will reply :

" You are not getting any younger"

Always, l don't have a defence for the ' you are not getting younger part. I would say thank you while a sorrow that is well concealed under a smile will hit my heart.

If in the public, l will keep this sorrow until in privacy and will then cry out to God, sometimes accusing Him indirectly of been unfaithful. In the past, l will tell God, no wonder Christians have backsliding. I will even defend the actions of Sarah and say

" Now l understand why Sarah make the mistake of giving Haggai to her husband."

"If this is the way, you treat your children, no wonder many backslide"

After speaking this way, the Holy Spirit will immediately convict of sin and l will repent. Then be sorrowful throughout the night. I will turn to a romantic movie or action movie and watch all night. If it was a weekend and the issue came up on a Friday, then the Saturday was dedicated and devoted to film with no quiet time at all. I was using the strategy of temporary relieve for a problem that needed a permanent fix.

Truly, l turned to God but I was not seeking His help rather l was grumbling, complaining about the problem and wrongly accessing Him.

Rachel encouraged her husband Jacob to sleep with her maid to have children

She refused to entreat God or wait for God's Timing

Rebecca's put the pressure on her husband who entreated God on her behalf. Sarah and Rachel brought chaos to their family through their decisions which reveals that their startegiea is not from God because the blessings of God added no sorrow.

Chapter Eleven

WHY YOU CANT TOLERANT OTHERS

You must know that as long as you are in the human flesh, everyone will never meet up, measure up to your stardard of behaviour, expectations and thinking.

WHY?, they may have Christ live in them and live in Christ, but they are not YOU!

Instead the fruit of the Holy Spirit will flow through these different regenerated personalities to the glory of God.

Also Apostle John was not the one chosen to lead the New Church at its infancy state, Peter was chosen with his boisterous and lively personality. For he was known for his out-spoken nature.

God is wise and He knows the best traits we need in our personality. This is why He carefully and wonderfully crafted YOU to be you.

ACTION PLAN

You are born by a woman and will end up in the grave someday.as everyone else.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

-Can people change?

Yes of course

-Can YOU become a better YOU?

You were made for " one level of glory to a higher level of glory daily'

-Can you help others become better than when you first met them.?

Of course.God fashioned us for INTER- dependence.

Come down from your superior pedestal of ' I am.among the few privileged, favourite of God in humanity and help others become their best.

This is the reason Christ Jesus.came to the earth. He went about doing good and setting free all who was oppressed of the devil because.He was anointed to bring God's LOVE and HELP to others.

Chapter Twelve

THE HUSBAND IS THE PRIEST OF THE WIFE

The essence, core and nature of The Father: God, The Almighty is sheer goodness. It's no wonder that our LORD Jesus Christ said ' None should be called "Good" excerpt the Father.

But as limitless as God's mercy and kindnesses is: Believers will still suffer and not benefit maximally from the Life of the Spirit when we don't know the principles of the Kingdom especially concerning marraige and the Christian family.

One of the most important principles a woman must learn to success as a wife as God intended; is the principle of her husband been The Head of their Family.

I am not trying to re- introduce woman slavery or state that the woman is a subset or lesser than the man rather l am stating what the Bible says " The man is the head of the woman.

We need to adequately understand this truth before we can accurate grasp the role of the man as the priest of the family.

THREE WITNESSES IN THE BIBLE.

The Word of God says " any truth and testimony must be established by at least three witnesses ( three other scripture to establish its infallibility)

WITNESS ONE

"SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24.

WITNESS TWO

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. I Cor. 11

WITNESS THREE

To the woman he said, “..... Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. ” Genesis 3:16

WITNESS FOUR

"IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; Philippians 2:5-6

IMPLICATIONS OF THE ABOVE SCRIPTURES.

When we encounter controversial and very important topics such as family dynamics as the husband and wife relationship, it is better to allow the Word of God reveal the thoughts of the Father and the Christ on that issue.

And unless you understand the leadership ranking in the Christian family, you may not accept the truth of your husband been the Priest of the family.

Also you may not readily believe and accept the truth that your husband's prayers is much more important for you than that of your Pastor or prophet. Most wife find it easy to believe the prayers of their pastors, prophets, apostles and friends than the prayers of their husbands.

The Bible says whatever two people shall agree on earth shall be done by God in Heaven. The best prayer of agreement between any two person is that of the husband and his wife.

They are one of the best battle axe of God. Their prayers is born out of an intricate covenant that is bonding for life. The token of their covenant is the child or children produced out of the covenant.

Usually, it only if you can take a child and cut it successfully into two equal part that you should adequately cancel the covenant intiated at the Marraige altar. But human law court can by the constitution cancel marraige covenant and the Law of Moses provided a letter of divourece from the man to his wife.

The formation of the child born from the intimacy between husband and wife is done in the secret place of the womb away from the peeing eyes of outsiders.

It is done by God who is the witness to the Marraige vow. When two person get married on the Marraige altar either in the Marriage court or the Church court; apart from the representatives from the bride and groom family: God is the third witness to the Marraige.

The Marraige relationship is deeper than how the average Christian sees it and handles it. And that may probably be the reason we.dont get the maximum benefits from it.

A child who is a product of a marraige that suffered divorce is usually torn between two worlds excerpt there is an intervention from a good step -parent or relatives.

And sincerely submission and love is one of the divine provisions of Heaven for producing godly seeds and mentoring the next generations.

The first mentor any child has is their parents. The mindset, attitudes of the child is moulded firstly by the parents and then the child governors either in the home or crèche before the media ( television, music, cartoons) begin their stylish and very impactful mentoring.

God's provision to checkmate any negative influence on the child is godly influence in the formative years of the child through effective submission and love relationships by both parent.

Therefore the Bible made a very important and profound statement on submission in relationships.

SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST.

Chapter Thirteen

SUMISSION TO YOUR HUSBSND MADE EASY!

The Gene for dominion is in every man and woman created in the image and likeness of God. The woman is created for dominion; to be in charge of every other thing God has created just as the man.

In the Animal kingdom, there is order. All Lions in the jungle are kings but there is always a Lion King as the famous children movie reveals in ' The Lion King' film.

I Peter 3:4

They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2;3

They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same

No believer can live according to the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus without the power and the life of the indwelling Holy Spirit. True submission in all its ramifications is not possible excerpt by the power of The Spirit .

We see woman especially wives who are not believers display a degree of submission to your hubby but we can categorically state that it's not true submission. It is submissioñ attained by a methodical mental conditioning whose foundation is rooted in fear.

True submission is borne in a knowledge of God and His way. You know as a woman and a wife that you have been liberated from the curse of subjugation to the man.

But you also know that God's says " You should submit one to another out of reverence for Christ and commande the wives to submit to their husbands as unto the LORD

Therefore as a wife, you consciously set your gaze on Jesus Christ , the author and finisher of your faith and made up your mind to obey His voice and command in all things because Jesus Christ, your LORD deserved it.

Though you are as qualified as your husband, as rich as hi, as anointed as him, you deliberately yield your will to honour him, obey him, love him as you will respect the senior pastor of your church or the chairman of the firm where you work.

QUESTION

Does your husband have to deserve this respect and honour?

ANSWER

NO! but the Jesus Christ who asked you to respect and honour your husband and the everlasting Father deserves that you hear their words as written in the Bible and obey it with joy.

This kind of unconditionally obedience is only possible by the life and power of the Holy Spirit.

You are not called to live the Christian life by your strength, rather you must learn to live from within your spirit to your soul and then this manifests in your body.

The power you need to become all that God requires of you is within you and as you engage the Word of God ( through diligently studying the Bible and applying it, the power within is activated.)

We took this time to explain how the submission mandate can be adequately executed. Submission is compulsory for every relationship in the Kingdom.

SUMISSION IS THE BEDROCK FOR ANY IMPORTANT HUMAN RELATIONSHIP.

The Book of Ephesians 5:21 reads this in other versions.

NCV version

Yield to obey each other as you would to Christ

THE MESSAGE

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another

Submission becomes difficult when you possess a pattern of thinking or mindset that tells you that submitting to your husband or others means you surrending your will and desires to please others Excerpt when helped by the Holy Spirit, l don't take lightly to anyone infringing on my right. I would get angry and retort a negative response if l sense that you are trying to take unnecessary advantage of me.

QUESTION

Is the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of me?

ANSWER

Yes, of course, the Holy Spirit is given to me to dwell forever unless l totally renounce Christ publicly.

Then why do l exhibit character traits that does not resonant or agrees with the fruit of the Spirit as stated on Galatians 5:21-24. I do this because at that very moment, l made a decision to walk in the flesh; l yielded my will to do the bidding of the flesh instead of exhibit the fruit of the Spirit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit"

In moments or conflict between the dictates of the flesh and the spirit; l must make a choice, (it may be conscious or unconscious based on what data of response l pre- programmed into my mind located in my soul) to either yield to the flesh and it desires or accept the input from my spirit which is the house of the Holy Spirit.

The human soul is located between the spirit and the body of a man. Every thoughts and information from the Holy Spirit is passed to the human soul who process it and then passed a final modified set of information to body parts which are the executor of visible actions.

The soul has the sole right and ability to do the following to the instructions received from the Holy Spirit via your spirit:

1. Outrightly reject these information because it differs from what is stored in the human mind.

In my case, my spirit would have said

"Hephzibah, over look the cheating and the negative attitude of this under- age girl"

These words are passed as thoughts to my mind which received it. But unfortunately the previous data stored in my mind to deal with this kind of infringement on my right is;

DATA IN MY MIND

-Never allow anybody to cheat you, it shows you are a weak person or that you have a low estimation about your self

- Respect is earned and enforced, always show people you are in charge.

The above is the information stored in my mind awaiting the instruction and leading from the Holy Spirit in my innerman which says overlook this wrong so that it will not result in a fight that would bring reproach to the Name of Jesus Christ.

Therefore l have a choice to either yield my will to obey the what is coming from the Spirit or obey the voice of the flesh. This is why the Bible says in Romans 8:5-8

"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God."

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

FOR THE FLESH DESIRES WHAT IS CONTRARY TO THE SPIRIT, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. THEY ARE IN CONFLICT WITH EACH OTHER, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Galatians 5:16-18

This is why a person finds it difficult to submit to other people.

BUT the Bible says " Rather, serve one another humbly in love. Gal. 5:13

WITNESS ONE

"SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24.

WITNESS TWO

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. I Cor. 11

WITNESS THREE

To the woman he said, “..... Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. ” Genesis 3:16

WITNESS FOUR

POWER OF A WOMAN

DELILAH AND SAMSON

She used the weapon of consistent smoothing words, power of persuasion and her beauty to cause Season to reveal the secrets that the Enemy used against him

DEBORAH

Deborah used the anointing of God upon her life. She developed an anointing that puts her beyond the kitchen and diapers and gave her position in the ranking of nations and purpose

THE WIFE OF HIEL

She quietly and unassumingly used the power of trust, persuasion and hospitality to destroy the enemy of the nation.

SARAH

She used her position as the wife of Abraham obviously using her husband's good heart of wanting to please her at all cost

JEZEBEL

She used the power of unflinching support for her husband's calling, career and ministry to usurp his authority and be in charge

BEERSHEBA

She used the power of a beautiful face and attractive statue to lure the King

HERODIAS

She used the love of the king for entertainment to cause Hiro do her bidding. She identified a weakness of the king and waited for the right moment to make the king do her wicked bidding. Probably if she had asked the king privately, the king would have said no. So she waited at the opportunity and occasion.

MARY, THE MOTHER OF JESUS, TGE LORD

She used her knowledge of His true worth and right estimation of his calling and anointing to make Him do the miraculous.

THE PHENOCIAN WOMAN

She used her knowledge of the way of God to get her request. She knew even if it was not God"s will. God will not say NO when you faith says Yes.

NAAMAN'S MAID

She used the power of boldness and knowledge to persuade her boss to get healed

JOAB

A woman threw stone at the enemy of David when men were asleep

Chapter Fourteen

HELP-MEET

MOTHER OF NATIONS

The first and most important ministry of a wife is to her God; next to her husband , then the family and then to the nation. Genesis 2: 18, 23 and Gen 3:20 reveals this order of importance.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Gen 2:18

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. ” Gen. 2:23

What God said about the woman and what the man exclaimed when he saw the woman for the first time agrees

God said ' I will provide a help suitable for him . This is a help suitable for Adam' s peculiar needs.

The helper is not suitable for the serpent's need - so she needed not to have listen to the serpent.

She is not a helper suitable for the Lion's need as strong as the Lion is,

She is not a help suitable for the eagle's need as swift as the eagle is,

She is not a help suitable for an angel's need as intelligent and powerful as angels are.

Rather she is a help suitable for Adam's need.

This was God's original purpose for creating Eve. I know the feminist movement may want to castigate us, but the Word of God is supreme to any other opinion.

Chapter Fifteen

YOUR HAPPINESS IS WITHIN YOUR CONTROL

Reaction and response to issues and your thoughts determine your feelings per time. When you release positive feelings on an issue, happiness is birthed but if you choose to release a negative response to an event then sorrow is the result.

Happiness or Sadness is all about reactions, responses; It means it can be managed. If you guide your responses to things based on the stipulations of scriptural provision, you can keep sadness away at all times and serve the LORD' s purpose in this generation with joy and happiness.

People have pre-grammed data stored in their minds on how to cope with various issues that occur in their life- time. These information are cumulated over time from experiences, cultural beliefs, books and exposures etc.

For King David, disappointments always birthed a New Psalm. He pours out his negative feelings through his writing.

Some Psalms reveals that David was not so easy on his enemies ( Psalm 109, Psalm 5) while other Psalm reveals that he had learnt to praise God in difficult times.. (Psalm 3, Psalm 7). And when David was happy, such as Pslam 8, 18 were birthed. When he was grateful, (Pslam 100-104 ) reflected his thoughts.

Singing and writing was David's way of expressing the tumult in his Soul. The Scriptures advises on what our reaction should be on different circumstances that may present itself.

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray.

IS ANYONE HAPPY? LET THEM SING SONGS OF PRAISE.

Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord" James 5;13-14

Happiness has a voice and a face, it has an atmosphere, it can be seen and touched and it flows from the soul. The soul is the seat of both sorrow and happiness, you determine which river flows out of you.

"Doth the fountain send forth from the same opening sweet water and bitter?" James 3:11

King Solomon on the other hand dealt with the vacuum in his soul by giving himself to pleasure, wine, projects and of course more women. Yet he was not happy, the fear of dying and leaving all his achievements behind plagued his soul. ( The Book of Eccl.)

I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless.

“Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?”

I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly —my mind still guiding me with wisdom.

I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.

I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. .....

I bought male and female slaves .........I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me.

I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces.

I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart.

I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.

My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil.

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Eccl 2.

Leah is happy whenever she does or achieve anything that she felt will make her husband love her.

She did not discover what makes her husband truly happy , she assumed giving him sons would make him happy yet after four sons, the attention and heart of Jacob was not solely hers.

Then she resolved to make God her Source of true happiness.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children. Genesis 29:35

We must make God our Source of true happiness. God has given us joy as a gift but we must also learn to make Him the source of our happiness.

Chapter Sixteen

TORE BETWEEN TWO LOVE

Sometimes, you are faced with a situation whereby you have deep feelings for two different persons and tore between two world and don't have a clear picture where to turn for the right decisions

These scenarios of been tore between two love is so common in the Church of Jesus Christ that many brothers and sisters who are attracted to more than one prospective marraige partner turn to their pastors, prophets for prayers for whom to marry.

But this difficulty of making the right decision between two loved ones is not just restricted to the choice of marriage partner but can be a source of pain in every day living.

Abraham, the Father of faith; the friend of the Almighty was faced with a situation that tore his heart apart. He waited upon God for about 24 years for the birth of his son Isaac.

Then one day, the God , who he loved requested that Abraham killed his love for his son; Isaac by offering Isaac as a sacrifice to him YAHWEH. It's like God saying to Abraham at the moment in time " There is not enough space in your heart for your love for me and your love for Isaac". It's like when our LORD Jesus Christ said " You can't serve Mammon and serve God" ( Mammon can't control you and at the same time, you will be under the control of God. ) You cannot love God and love Mammon at the same time. It is either you will love one or hate the other. The principle by which Mammon is served is in direct opposition to the principle by which you can serve God

In Abraham case, it seem either his love for Isaac was overshadowing his love for God or he was giving more attention to Isaac than he was giving to God

Chapter Seventeen

PRINCIPLE OF LOVE IN MARRIAGE

ATTENTION

Vashti was a very beautiful woman who obviously was greatly admired by the King her husband. He was so proud of her that he wanted to show off her beauty to officials and people of his kingdom. It was his way of saying "see my treasured possession".

But at that moment that the King needed her attention though it was for vanity " she was busy doing her own things"

Attention is paramount in our relationship with God and even with our spouse. Attention is not that you are in each other company' 24)7, attention is that you carry each other in your most sacred place. Attention is you are available when he needs you; he is available when you need him

How do affairs start in the office. I have always worked in Christian organisation and as you know there are certain unwritten ode of conducts. And one of them is " Do not stir up love until it is stirred". It means you don't go around giving attention to a brother or sister you do not intend to marry ( for some church organisation Di not believe in dating etc)

But l had an opportunity to work in a secular setting and l realised that it is a different ball game. If you focus your attention on the opposite sex, it is seen as your subtik way of saying, "l am into you or attarcted to you"

A husband giving attention daily to his wife can be expressed in his noticing her dress, the different hair style, her countenance after office, her countenance when she walks up, even are responses. Giving attention is not the mighty things but rather the attention you give to details

And it is something couples can practise deliberately and consciously. I tell you, it is not manipulative to be calculating about giving attention to your spouse.

You are deliverate about your investment, your ministry success, etc. You can be intentional and even employ strategies about your attention to God and your spouse. It is not cold-hearted

Everything in the marriage must not be done spontaneously. Conscious attention to your lover can become spontaneous expression of love over time

Recently, l was listening to ataln online and the speaker said our sex life can be pre-arranged to days in the week. He said this allows couple to build up expectation, think of more exciting ways to give each pleasure and kind of make them deliberately think about each other

In the same vein, giving attention to your spouse, listening to their conversation during meal time, openingly gazing on them as they leave the bathroom, watching them deliberately as they walk into a room, intentional complimenting them is a good way of keeping the feelings in your heart warm and love making more exciting

Solomon’s Song of Songs.

"She Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." Songs of Solomon 1:1-2

The statements above seem like an extract from a secular novel and not from THE WORD OF GOD..

The statement about Isaac and his wife in the book of Genesis seem almost impossible.

When Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelek king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah. Genesis 26:8.

The marraigae institution is the legal venue where God has oradined that intimacy be expressed in different dimensions and spectrum. No wonder the relationship between the believer and Christ is liken to the realtiinshio between husband and his wife

But we must also note that what one couple maybregard as giving attention may not necessarily be the definition given by another couple for the same issue. Therefore couples must learn not to compare their realtiinshio with that others at all

We are all unique because of training, background and mindset and don't

see things from the same perspective and don't react to the same issue in the same way

The LORD told Abraham to offer his beloved son and Abraham offered Isaac to God to show that he loved God above any other .

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you. ”

Genesis 22:1-3

We must be ready to demonstrate our love for our spouse to that extent. When you become one flesh with another person, it means you are inseparable and if separation is to take place, three must be a tearing apart that will cause excruciating pains.

This is why God says He hates divorce because divorce for any reason aprat from marital unfaithfulness is like deliberately hurting the one you have promised to love. And even in marital unfaithful ESS, that The LORD said is the only basis that Moses that can be consider for diviurce, if the principle of forgiveness is employed, the narraige is still redeemable.

While Vashti failed to give the King attention when he demanded for it, Esther created opportunities to give the same King attention before his most trusted official .

We must learn to give attention to our spouse and even our God. Giving attention is saying " I VALUE YOU TREMENDOUSLY"

IChapter 18

LOVE IS PATIENT.

DIFFERENCE IN MARRIAGE CAN BE RECTIFIED BY PATIENCE.

Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” Laban said,

Divorce is rapad in the Society and becoming desirable by a few in The Church of Jesus Christ because we are not slow to anger and abounding in love. A man and a woman in a marriage relationship will always have flaws in character .

Flaws in character are actually deficiencies in a person through the spectacles of another person. What you consider to be a flaw in someone character, maybe a strength in the view of another person.

A person believes in eating a large bowl of rice at one sitting because of the background, the other is trained to eat little at a time. Therefore to the man who is trained to eat little ratio of food per time, his wife is indiscipline in her eating habit because she is not trained to be like him

The compromise In the marraige is for the man to teach the wife why small ratio of food is better that big ratio of food. The insight and understanding gained on ratios of food will equipped the woman to adapt quickly to sound eating habits as her spouse

Patient is the bridge that will carry the eating habits of the man and his woman from the inception of different eating habits to the destination of harmonised eating habit of the couple.

Patient is needed in every aspect of the marraige. The difference between a man and his new bride may be noticed in their spending habits, home making skills, attitude to loving -making, Religious beliefs. Some and all of these can become a major source of stress, unhappiness and tension in marraige

Married couples must understand that the marraige ceremony and wedding night made the man and the woman one flesh; but the merging of the soul, the synchronization of the spirit and unity of ideology of both partners may take a longer period. it takes constant exposure to the Word of God and fellowship with each other to arrive at the point where a man and his wife are ONE just as God, the Father and God, the Son are ONE

One of the key attributes of Love in 1 Cor. 13 is " Love is Patient

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. " 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

TIPS FOR DEVELOPING PATIENT

1. Renew Your Mind.

Sincerely, renewal of the mind of the believer is the first step to becoming a person who is given to patience.. Statement such as listed below sound cool but are actually statement of a believer who has not submitted to the Law of the Spirit and is not yielding to the Life of the Holy Spirit within you.

*. " I don't tolerant nonsense from people";

*. " I don't like arrogant people".

* " I am a person of principles and expect people to know what they are doing"

* " I don't have patience for slow people "

Galatians 5:22-26

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other..

The Holy Spirit is inside every man and woman who believes in Jesus Christ. And that Holy Spirit has a personality that differs from your own natural personality. . The major reason for the life of Christ in you : The New Life you received at the New birth is so that there can be an exchange . You were crucified with Christ so that you can live his Life

But we continue to live the natural life because we know but don't understand that the fruit of the Holy Spirit should become our New life

We hide under the disguise and excuse of these personality weakness and strengths( I am Choloric, Sanguine and melancholy) and never embraced the Life of the Spirit within

If you renew your mind by the Word of God and embrace the Life of the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit will become your personality type and not your natural inborn personality .

Let me use my life as an example For a very long time, l believed l was melancholy with a great measure of choloric personality type And as long as l believed that l was Choloric and melancholy, l was always bossy and impatience with people flaws in especially in the area of working.

I expected everyone to be given to work as myself. Later l realised that I developed choloric tendency because l had to take charge of my destiny at a very tender age. Thus l develop leadership tendency. It took a journey of self discovery to know my true personality type.

But when l encountered the truth in Galatians 5 that some of the things called flaws and personality weakness are actually works of the flesh. I find it easier to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit to change a lot of the Character flaws and l am still depending on God for transformation through the renewing of my mind.

OTHERS ARE NOT YOU

In your eyes, , you are the best type of yourself that exist on planet earth. No one is exactly like you. Why this is true but it can also be a source of conflicts in any kind of relationship.

We always want others to conform to the best version of our SELF. Our expectation is that people especially our loved ones should always reflect our own lifestyle, beliefs and personality or the personality of a higher human, we hold sacred in your heart. You want people to become the Best version of you.

EVERYBODY CANNOT BE YOU, because God created each person uniquely with special features. If everybody talks and dress like you, then it means it is only your specie we need in the Universal. And everybody is created to be a copycat of YOUR HIGHER SELF.

Self love is good but learn to see yourself in the shoes of other people and through their life experience.. We are all products of our parenting, culture, friendships, environment , thus the different mindset and culture.

Even as believers though we have ONE LORD, ONE SPIRIT, And THE SAME WORD OF GOD, the 12 discioles of The LORD Jesus Christ differs in personality type just as their assigment differs.

WE CANNOT ALL BE YOU.

Therefore consider that that guy or lady you met and want to spend the rest of your life with had spend at least twenty-years trying to be someone else and will need time to adjust to become the perfect picture of the bride and groom you have pasted on the hard drive of your mind.

If you have this mind set, tolerance of other people faults will always be easy for you.

Chapter Nineteen

HAPPINESS AND JOY, BOTH ARE NECESSARY…….

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and spontaneous while happiness on the other hand is dependent on certain factors and conditions. Happiness is defined as a state of utmost bliss, an emotion evoked by well being, success, good fortune by the prospect of possessing what one desires.

Happiness is dependant on a favourable circusnatces, It relies a positive catalyst . A happy feeling cannot be achieved without a activator by an external factor. A feeling of happiness is a reaction to a corresponding action that is intended to stir up this positive feelings

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, a gift from the Almighty and is available to any believer when it is needed, happiness on the other is a fruit of the soul which is dependent on positive feelings. Both joy and happiness is needed in the Christian home.“And Zilpah Leah's maid bare Jacob a second son. And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher.” (Genesis 30:12-13 KJV). Leah was happy because her servant bore a second son for her husband. This high positive feeling was dependent on her desires been fulfilled.

In the case of Paul and Silas, they had no reason for high excited feelings, yet they were singing hymns to God with excitement-that is the joy of the Spirit. Acts 16:22

Truly, no believer is expected to live strictly by feelings because they are not entirely dependable. You are not expected to only say “I love you”, “ï miss you” to your partner only when you have high feelings. You must learn to care for your spouse with enthusiasm whether you feel like it or not. God delights in the praise of His people and loves when they serve him with gladness of heart. (Isaiah 58:14) likewise Deut 24:5 shows that God desires happiness in the Christian home, our marriages should not just be endured for the sake of purpose, you must be excited about your partner for life. Proverbs 5:18, Eccl 9:9.

The foundation for happiness in marriage is usually laid at the point of choosing a marriage partner. Who you marry will determine to a large extend the final outcome of your destiny. While some Christians believe God is no longer involve in the choice of who you marry and that you make the decision by searching for a man or woman who suits your purpose and desires,

The writer strongly believes that every single guy/lady must rely on the Holy Spirit in choosing a marriage partner, we cannot afford to rely on physical circumstances, financial status to make this crucial choice; for it takes only God and His discernment to know who is who in His Kingdom. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Furthermore,, a believer may be good in every ramifications but may not be the right marriage and destiny partner for you. I remember back them in school, a brother felt led to marry a sister in the fellowship but eventually, did pot proposed because he felt she was a “spiritual fanatic” Why? She was not putting on ear rings and trousers. I know the sister presently as she is into make- up and do trousers etc.

Am sure if the Brother had carried the Holy Spirit along, he would have seen through the eyes of the Spirit; five years later, the sister would become who he wanted as a wife.

The writer knows that God has given every man the ability of free choice, but if you believe in Christ and understand the fact that the Almighty God is a loving Father, who knows all things and promised in Psalm 32:8 to guide the man who fears him in the way that is best for him, then you will depend on His guidance in the area of making marital choice.

So the principle of as many as are led by the Spirit of God is also applicable when making the choice of who to marry, but hearing God’s voice on who to marry is not a guarantee that such marriage will work. Even if you heard the direct voice of the Almighty telling you Mr. A is the ordained marriage partner of Miss B , this is not a sole guarantee that such marriage will automatically work out fine, both partners must apply biblical principles for blissful marriage to enjoy its dividends.

Check out the case of Apostle Paul and Barnabas. The Holy Spirit spoke in Acts 13:2-4 “As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them. And when they had fasted and prayed, and laid their hands on them, they sent them away. So they, being sent forth by the Holy Ghost, departed unto Seleucia; and from thence they sailed to Cyprus.

KJV

But this relationship initiated by the Spirit of Life hit the rock in Acts 15:16 through unmanaged family dynamics. So that you heard God’s voice when you proposed or that you heard God’s voice when you said yes to that proposal is not the only perquisite for “happily forever” unless, you deliberately sow seeds of love into the marriage, you cannot reap the fruit of happiness in the home.

The enemy attacks happiness in Christian marriage at weak moments, when one or both partners are vulnerable and an aspect of the marriage had been neglected. Goliath was well protected excerpt the small part in his fore head where the stone from David hit.

InSpired

HAPPINESS AND JOY, BOTH ARE NECESSARY…….

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and spontaneous while happiness on the other hand is dependent on certain factors and conditions. Happiness is defined as a state of utmost bliss, an emotion evoked by well being, success or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires:

While joy is a fruit of the Spirit, a gift from the Almighty and is available to any believer when it is needed, happiness on the other is a fruit of the soul which is dependent on positive feelings.

Both joy and happiness is needed in the Christian home.“And Zilpah Leah's maid bare Jacob a second son. And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher.” (Genesis 30:12-13 KJV).

Leah was happy because her servant bore a second son for her husband. This high positive feeling was dependent on her desires been fulfilled.

In the case of Paul and Silas, they had no reason for high excited feelings, yet they were singing hymns to God with excitement-that is the joy of the Spirit. Acts 16:22

God delights in the praise of His people and loves it when they serve him with gladness of heart. (Isaiah 58:14) likewise Deut 24:5 shows that God desires happiness in the Christian home, our marriages should not just be endured for the sake of purpose, you must be excited about your partner for life. Proverbs 5:18, Eccl 9:9.

The foundation for happiness in marriage is usually laid at the point of choosing a marriage partner. Who you marry will determine to a large extend the final outcome of your destiny.

While some Christians believe God is no longer involve in the choice of who you marry and that you make the decision by searching for a man or woman who suits your purpose and desires,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Am sure if the Brother had carried the Holy Spirit along, he would have seen through the eyes of the Spirit; five years later, the sister would become who he wanted as a wife.

Therefore, the principle of as many as are led by the Spirit of God is also applicable when making the choice of who to marry.

But hearing God’s voice on who to marry is not a guarantee that such marriage will work. Even if you heard the direct voice of the Almighty telling you Mr. A is the ordained marriage partner of Miss B , this is not a sole guarantee that such marriage will automatically work out fine, both partners must apply biblical principles for blissful marriage to enjoy its dividends.

KJV

Chapter Twenty

DO ALL WITHIN YOUR POWER TO MAKE YOUR SPOUSE HAPPY

Some few years back, I got some quotations from a Christian book which outlined the qualities of a perfect help- meet.

Hearing the phrase perfect help Meet, I knw your mind is already carrying placard and protesting " there is no perfect help-meet anywhere"

Please permit, my unsual reasoning for the purpose of this write-up.

My definition of 'perfect help-meet' in this context is good, the best Help-meet a man can have.

This Book says a perfect Help-meet is a lady who does the following to her partner:

1. Shares his hopes, dreams and bear his hurts and frustrations. ( I replied in my heart- the woman na him 'Paid Shrink')

2. Brings him before God's throne in prayer every day)

3. Put his sexual and emotional needs ahead of hers ( I thought, woman dey enter oooo)

4. Enable him become all God wants him to be and accomplish God's purpose

5. Have dinner ready whn he gets home

6. Encourage him to talk abt his life goals

7. Listen to him with undivided attention

8. Embrace his ideas enthusiastically

9. Respect him by how she talks to him and abt him before others.

Sincerely after reading all these attributes of a perfect woman by an American woman, I concluded that African mentality in marriage has obviously colonised this American woman.

Then I remembered she is a christian and speaking from her understanding of God's perspective.

Some Christian relationships and marriages are not doing so well today because we erroneously and ignorantly believe that there is no sacrifice in marriage.

Plsease. Note that lasting love is sacrifice from A-Z, for both the man and the woman. ( My findings from some married men and women)

The Bible says for God so loved the World that He sacrificed His only begotten Son. (Loved a world that wants nothing to do with him)

We praise God for the feelings and 'goose pimples' that comes with falling in- love.

I understand how you can be on 'Cloud 7' and want to move heaven and earth for the source of this good feelings.

But the married will tell you that those feelings may not always be there after a long time marriage, they should be present but experience shows they are not always there.

If you have the understanding that true love is about caring unselfishly for another person; about looking out for your beloved interest in all things, you will do it. either you feel like it or not.

For those who have careers, businesses and ministries, you will agree with me that to make your business successful, you do all manners of legal things- make sacrifices, practise self-denials because there are many militating forces that wants thiese endeavours to fail.

Our marriages must be handled in the same light and manner, its childish to reasoned that because you no longer have 'high feelings' of love, then you are no longer in love.

It means, the days you don't feel like going to the office, brushing your teeth, taking your bath etc, you don't do it.

Love is about giving your best in any relationship, its about making your partner happy and if carrying out the roles itemised in the perfect help meet attributes will help us achieve this, we must be ready to pay its price. I can tell you, you will not regret it.

I love children and enjoy being their best pal. Daily, I am learning their love language- the gifts, the sweet, the unsolicited hug, the deliberate compliments on their dresses, the gentle rebuke make them seek you out in a crowd.

It gives me tremendous thrill when they do that, so I use their Love language extensively. Its only one or two that have resisted inspite of the love language usuage.

I know there are always exceptions to every rule but only a lunatic and demon possessed will reject kindness, generosity and I know you are not in a relationship with such. And if anyone situation in marriage is bad, l pray God will surely intervene.

Rekindle the fire in your relationship, activate the feelings of love again and sustain it by the continually practise of the above mentioned with prayers and by faith in Jesus, your relationship will be exceptional and exemplary.

Chapter Twenty-One

CHRISTIAN HUSBAND!- UNLESS YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST ......

The institution of Marriage is ordained by God and can only be sustained by His wisdom and power. It's a mystery and only the God who created it can help you understand it.

No fallen man can truly love another person especially his wife as Christ loves the Church without the empowerment of the Holy Spirit: For the average man is first concern about himself and his interest before he considers others.

Our LORD and Saviour informed the disciples to tarry in Jerusalem until they are ensued with power from on high, then they can be Christ witness to the World.

The Christian marriage is crystallized by God to be a witness of God's love and authority to people who do not believe in His Son Jesus Christ.

The Bible says 'for God so loved the World, your union is the first institution used by God for the full expression of His Love.

It is God's desire that His ove demonstrated in your family in its true volors; ( the caring husband, submissive wife and godly, respectful and well- behaved children.) will flow to your neighbourhood and ultimately to the world.

One of the most effective methods of Soul-winning is 'ONE on ONE interpersonal evangelism' and a Christ -based family and home is an effective tool to bring men to Christ.

In a world filled with functioning mechanisms so structured to keep families apart and fight against true intimacy among its member, Christian marriages based on kingdom principles are the only available saviours.

Selfishness has eaten deep into all fibers of Human endeavours including the family and one of its outcomes is same sex marriages where partners are more like co-tenants instead of the God's marriage template of 'THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH"

Jesus Christ, our LORD says " “You are the salt of the earth.

But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?

It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.

Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

Your marriage as a believer is ordained to be a place of sweetness and preservation that will bring men and women to the saving knowledge of Christ

The unbeliever should see the harmony, respect, love in your family and home and desire to know the God and His principles which produces this in your life. You are the Light that shines in darkness, the City set in a Hill for all to see.

And unless you submit your marriages and home to the authority of Christ; God's purpose for your marriage may be thwarted and your marriage destiny ruined.

Please.kindly, Join me as we examine some of the elements Christ used to love His Church.

Chapter Teenty-Two

ARE YOU KIND TO YOUR WIFE? ( PART TWO)

Life is tough on its own and the Christian home is one of the major succour put in place by God to comfort the weary soul.

We can put on make-up in the public and talk confidently with a bold stance but before your husband, you should be able to let go and let the tears flow when you are a bit down.

You should feel free to say ' darling, l don't understand, l need help' and you will not feel ashamed that your husband would say

" You should have grown past this and be strong because you have Jesus in your heart.'

The best of us need a cuddle now and then when the wind.of trials blow across our shore.

This was the case of Hannah and her husband Elkannah. Hannah' s heart was filled with tears, a smile hidden behind the clouds of doubt and scorn from the second wife with children

Her husband could not understand her grief and sadness yet he was kind enough to give her double portion ojust to show his love for her.. He said to her " am not worth more than seven sons'

I am sure Hannah was saying ' Oga, you will not understand! sebi you have children, it is me that has none!

The strongest woman is a baby in the heart who needs the regular hugand encouragement from her husband who wants to get the World.and its glory for her -

Unsolicited kindness is one sure way to go the extra mile for your lover.

Have you ever meditate on the depth of Christ's kindnesses to His Church (His bride)

He is God alone from the first to the last and He needed no validation from any human, yet he sacrificially lay down his life for you.

He was insulted, abused, mocked, ridiculed for your sake

He released all his angels for your sake.

He fashioned His Word to accommodate your flaws and mistakes though He is.sinless and perfect.

He overlooks our short-comings and ensures his strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Then He commands the man ' Love your wife in this same way'

But remember that Christ could not love the Church without the grace and power of the Holy Spirit and this grace, power and wisdom to love your wife is available to you too if you seek it.

The whole essence of Christian marriage is to demonstrate the love of God and to raise godly seed within this same love.

Chapter Twenty-Three

KINDNESS: AN ELEMENT OF A HUSBAND'S LOVE FOR HIS WIFE

Kindness is a love language; it has a voice that can be heard in the saddest heart and the most chaotic mind. A man must learn to use it for his wife and children.

Women have huge capacity to care for others- God configured the female specie in such a way that a emotion encircles her heart and decision.

While a male is calculating on what benefits he will get from a particular relationship, a woman is moved by how the relationship makes her feel.

High feelings is an indicator of rightness for her while low feelings is a red light that signifies ' Don't come any further'

Genuine Kindness void of manipulative tendencies will unlock this depth of rich feelings within the woman.

Christ though God demonstrated kindness to the people around Him especially his disciples in various instances.

1. He prepared a meal for the disciples when he appeared to them after his resurrection.

Surely, at this point, they deserved a rebuke from Him and not love expressed through the tentacles of kindness.

They had left their first love to go back to their vocation of fishing. Thus Jesus had to asked Pater' Do you love me more than this?

We appreciate men who buy beautiful gifts for their spouse during wedding anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving etc.

But a kind heart will always show its true contents at moments when no one is searching for its fruit.

No Christian relationship especially marriage can survive and flourish without the help of the Holy Spirit. You need His counsel while marrying marital choice and need it in the Home.

The Holy Spirit knows the best moments and the best gestures that can please and help your wife.

Jesus Christ our LORD cooked a meal for his disciples, when it was the best gesture that will show that He will be faithful in taking care of their needs.

Christ left his busy ministerial schedule to the world to visit Peter' s mother-in-law when she was sick.and healed her. ( He did not say, I will do my Father's while God takes care of your mother-in-law)

Chapter Teenty-four

THE ROLES YOUR WIFE PLAY!

Jesus Christ is our perfect pattern in everything. He made a statement that is surprising to me in John 16:13-14.

He said the Holy Spirit will not speak of Himself rather He will always bring glory to Jesus by speaking only what He heard from Him.

This statement inform me in no small measure that God rules by constituted authority and He has given the authority of the Head of the family to the Husband as Christ is the Head of the husband.

AlThough, we are a kingdom of kings and priests( Bible theologians can help to dissect that to its simplest application), I see the husband as the priest in the family.

Deborah was a prophet in an age and era when women were suposedly heard but not seen.

After, the death of Joshua, Servant of God, leadership continuity suffered a set back and men turned to their own ways in the absence of true leadership.

"And the people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great works of the Lord, that he did for Israel. And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died, being an hundred and ten years old........... And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel."

Joshua 3:4-8

So, we see the emergence of Rebecca as a prophetess and judge in Israel. Though, she was a leader, she handled her ministry in such a way that she allowed Barak to lead in the LORD's battle even when he insisted that Rebecca must go with him to the battle . Judges 4:6-13

The Bible is beautiful in the sense that every word is carefully crafted by God Spirit.

We must know God' s Spirit is poured out on men and women based on purpose, faith and the hunger in the hearts.

In any generation, if it is a woman who is ready to receive a greater measure of the Holy Spirit, God will honour her ardent desire; for He is seriously seeking for such passionate worshipper.

Kathryn Kuhlman said " I don't think l am God's first choice for this ministry' I guess when there was no man available to pay the price for the unction and ministry', the mantle fell on her.

God demonstrated this truth at the resurrection of our LORD Jesus Christ

He told His disciples of his resurrection. But a woman earnest desire to see her Saviour risen gave her the awesome privilege of seeing Him before He had gone to the Father.

The desires of a man/ woman's heart will surely draw Heaven's attention to them.

There are callings by predestination but there graces, anointings released by God on a believer as a result of desire and concern for His Kingdom.

The issue of passive husbands (especially Believers) is on the increase in this generation.

We see the issue of more women taking over the pulpit ministry with their individualistic pursue of success in the woman ministry while the husband also struggles to fulfill his divine mandate.

What was ordained to be a joint pursuit as a Christian couple has become two persons in a marriage relationship pursuing their different calling, which may be in different direction

One reason God called a woman along with her husband in the same ministry is so that they can spend more time together than apart.

Ministry work has the tendency to separate a couple but if they are jointly pursuing the call of God, they spend more them together in each other company and the bond of love between them becomes stronger.

Chapter Twenty-Five

THE SPIRITUAL PASSIVE HUSBAND

Hannah was married to Elkanah who had two wives. I guess the husband was no longer concerned about his first wife having a child because Penninah had satisfied his need for children.

But we see the concern and pursuit of a woman becoming the entry point for the prophectic into the linage of Elkanah.

While Abraham walked with God and brought his whole family into the Covenant with Yahweh, Hannah' s pursuit and persistent faith in the power of God brought her husband's name into the Book of Eternal records.

She was lthe one who entered a covenant on behalf of her seed and ultimately her family. She made the decision concerning the child's future and all the husband said was " Do what see best to you!

Isaac and Rebecca is another example where the woman temporarily becomes the priest of family.

She was the one who enquired of God about the future of her children. She was the same person who determined through her schemes how the prophecy God gave her concerning her children would be fulfilled.

Permit me to ask a crucial question that should not be asked:

Where was Joseph, the husband of Mary, when Mary was busy in the ministry of The Christ?

Also, at His death on the Cross, Our LORD Jesus handed over his mother to John, the beloved.

The plight of passive husbands cannot be overlooked in the Church in this generation.

I see an increasing scenario whereby the woman is becoming the chief intercessor in the family while the husband faces more important issues in the home and family.

Sincerely it is the person (either the wife or husband) who visits the throne room of God more often that gets embedded by divine power and hear of the concerns of the Almight.

God is not a respecter of persons, those who seek Him will always find Him.

God will always speak to the concerned heart, even if that heart belongs to a woman, a girl, a slave.

Power will always gravitate to the man who has the needed knowledge to reign .

Likewise, some women are becoming more and more the decision- maker in the family. Names of a child, the School they will attend, who they should marry is becoming more like the woman's assigment in the home.

Names of our children are prophectic in the sense that they are portraits of the child's future)

Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 2 :1 that we should pray for all men.....

I stand to be corrected, l have not find a verse in the Bible where prayers is strictly, the ministry of the woman in the home.

Certainly if it is the woman seeking God's place in the place of prayer for her husband, and family, then don't be surprised if the scepter of rulership in the home falls into her hand either by manipulation or by error.

Recently, I noticed another event under the Sun.

Some Set men passed on unto glory and their wives become the Head of the Ministry.

We will forever celebrate God for women like Polly Featherstone, Maria Woodworth Ette, Aimee MacPherson, Kathryn Kuhlman and so many great women God is using to pioneer new works and do great exploits in this generation

But when we have repeated pattern of any issue, we should stop to ask the following question;

Is this the new thing God is doing under the Sun or is it a case of WHILE MEN SLEEPS, THE ENEMY SOWS...

Only God, our Father can reveal this to us but we certainly need to ask the question answering God.

Chapter Twenty-six

IS TRUE HAPPINESS A MYTH IN YOUR MARRIAGE.?

One recurring thought that always crosses my mind after the Groom and Bride say "l do" is 'Lord Jesus, will they be able to keep the excitement, friendship and sweetness flavour in their homes and marriage after the Honeymoon stage.

A music artist sang "diamonds are forever". I believe the marriage institution needs an award winning song sang by every intending couples with the words " "our friendship and love must shine forever by our conscious actions and attitudes"

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION

The pertinent question at this point is " is it possible to maintain the glow seen on the Wedding Day throughout the life line of the marriage?

By the word ' flow', l imply the excitment, the spontaneous touching by the couple if they are truly into each other.

TWO SIDED ANSWER

My answer is YES and at the same time NO. I will cite the examples of celebrities and a former president to buttress my submission to this question.

On the Red carpet for films premiere; married, engaged celebrities want to show their fans and audiences that they are still much more in love and they show lot of 'PDF' in public.

They act and looked as if they are still strongly drew and attracted to each other after many years of marriage. ( excerpt both are very good actors, their continual glow in marriage looks like the real thing)

I know some culture and religion does not encourage the show of 'PDF' in public and some persons are brought up with the notion that you don't wear your feelings on your sleeves in public

But my initial question is " can couples maintain attractions to each other after many years of marriage and can they maintain the glowing atmosphere in their marriages after honeymoon.

LOVE IS BEYOND SWEET FEELINGS

Firstly, l want to establish the fact that loving someone is not just ingrained in the public and private display of emotions.

Loving a man or woman truly starts from a decision you made. A lot of ladies and guys don't realise that they are in control of who and when they fall in love or get attracted to the opposite sex.

You must know that overtime, you input certain information about who you like, you don't like, what you like and you don't like about an individual or potential marriage partner into your mind.

It is this pre-programmed data of information that influences or informs your decision or seemingly ' spontaneous intense feelings about certain individuals- either to love them or dislike them.

This data of information may be influenced by what your parents told you, what you picked up from your parents and relatives marriage relationships.

it may be influenced by what you heard, seen on social media, it may be influenced by your personal experiences as you interact with others.

it may even be influenced by manipulations of demons and it may be as a result of what the Holy Spirit told you about who to marry or who is your partner in destiny.

Falling in love is not an uncontrollable impulse that happens to you randomly.

It happens as influenced by these stored data in your mind and heart. So it is this information that make it seem you fall in love out of your control.

Even a man who falls in love with a prostitute, somewhere along the line had allowed the data of information to sift into his heart and mind that it will be surely 'Cool' to marry 'a Runs lady' either out of pity or for the notion of sexual expertise of run girls. ( Am speaking from purely factual base and not in any way advocating for a believer in Christ to marry an unrepentant 'Runs'. lady.)

The same way, you programmed your heart to fall for the partner of your choice, you can also feed your mind and heart with information that allows you to keep the glow in your marruage and home.

Sincerely, l believe any art can be learned and practised. We were born empty, it shows that every attitude, knowledge and skill you have was learnt and acquired

You just need to learn what it takes to build that home that is filled with the joy of the Spirit.

Like l said, Love is a decision and not just good feelings that change based on circumstances and is not totally reliable for continually marital bliss.

If you only touch your spouse, compliment them, speak 'softly' to them when you have high and intense feelings of love" then you are in for a long ride that is easily manipulated by the flesh and the Enemy.

Happiness can be incited by various elements like a new car, promotion in the office, increased Church attendance etc but happiness by a decision made by its recipient irrespective of the present circumstances is best and more reliable.

Some christians believe that God leads you to marriage partner, others believe - he that finds a wife. Whatever method adopted, you either made a decision to agree with the Holy Spirit counsel or just follow the leading of your heart .

Likewise you must make a decision to store in your spirit, subconscious and conscious mind, data that will allow you to always display loving actions and reactions to your spouse at all times.

The Bible rightly says " As a man thinks so he is"

Touching your spouse and validating them by loving words are actions you can program into your subconscious and they gush out at all times needed .

Every man has an idea of what they like and what they don't like, likewise your spouse his/her likes and dislikes.

Loving someone necessitates that we find out what makes them happy and feel appreciated.

We are individualistic just as our taste and likes are different ; one man may feel truly appreciated when his spouse compliment every kind gestures, while another likes to be appreciated when he pays the bill.

There are different love languages, you just need to learn what tickles your lover.

Adaptation to the different love languages may be as a result of upbringing

Some parents show appreciation for the good behaviour by their children by praising them verbally, others reward good behaviour with tangible gifts.

Such parents are consciously or unconsciously formatting the love gesture the child would come to enjoy in their adult years

So you must find out what sparks excitment in your marriage partner and deliberately enjoy doing it for them

You don't only touch your spouse when you feel like or when it's time for sex. Touching is one inexpensive way to show your partner, am still attracted to you.

You as a man, you can train your eyes and gaze to follow your wife's movement in the house, you can deliberately catch her gaze and hold it for a while.. It's your way of saying" Babe, l still love and am into you"

You can equally put in extra efforts in your marriage and home by putting it on the top alert list.

A top Executive said " I ensure at all times that my family calls and chats are treated as top priority and always l return to a warm welcome at home"

To reap a truly happy home, you must sow seeds of love. Many Christian couples operate as flat mates in their homes and not as lovers as God intended.

Listen, the physical, emotional environment is already filled with enough pain, but Jesus came that we should have abundant life and that the joy of the Holy Ghost should fill our hearts

So while we sacrificially spread the Gospel of Christ, fight insurgents in our nation ,fulfill divine mandate, let ensure that our homes are a place of comfort, joy, happiness.

Your home should be where you go and you are happy, elated, excited that you are going home- for you know every burden would be shared by someone who is truly Interested in your happiness and understands you.

After a very busy day for me and l drive through the gate leading to my apartment , a kind of serenity comes over me, l feel a gentle but powerful vibes and my soul resounds "AM HOME"

. That's what the Creator intends when He said " The two shall become one", two shall receive better reward for their labour and one will chase a thousand and two, their tens of thousands.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

THE WEDDING DAY AFTERMATH..